From the first time I heard this song, over a year ago, every time this song comes on, I just pause, listen, stare off into space.. if reminds me of two or three different nights.
I never know what to think about it.
Music
Just want to start this over
I am left with this energy about me, every time that I see her… or ever talk to her. It’s a nice change when I fel like its hard to get excited about much sometimes.
When I saw the image above, I thought about her and had to save it. My desktop is full of images that make me think about her; not that I need any reminder, but people say it’s cute.. or something like that. I guess I am sensitive after all. I think I have been doing well at keeping a balance and control of those emotions that get so carried away so easily.
I had not seen her in months, she started to talk to me again, maybe she could see my progress from a distance. It’s nice to feel trusted. The words she uses reminds me that its not me that she doesn’t trust.. or something like that. Life never gets less complicated.
You held your breathe and the door for me
Today I got the biggest surprise, and loved every minute of it. Even if I did keep talking and say everything that came to mind without filter, whatever, that’s me. Tonight I am listening to a lot happier music than normally. Ani Difranco isn’t specifically sad but it discusses political issues, even subtily that are just too real and tend to get me down.
Tonight I listen to this song and think about her. I feel like a pompous ass when I hear a song and it reminds me of someone, because I could see them saying those words to me.. I feel like it should usually be the opposite.. but I am pretty fond of myself, even if I fake otherwise well…
I know the pieces fit ’cause I watched them fall away.
Any time that a tool some comes on, my mind drifts away to somewhere else.
Last night as I was playing the lateralus album while my friend Joy was hanging out. I wouldn’t even notice my complete distraction. She would catch me staring off into space following the lyrics in my head which always leads me to think about something else. When she would ask what was wrong, i would say nothing and pretend it was nothing. She knew better and made me change the music.
and I also seem to be a bit into this one but it’s not my favorite
Her email echos through my heart…
which seems to be much more pleasant than the craigslist post that echoed in my head last December. One day things are going to change, I can feel it..
When I went on my lunch break from work, this was the song on the radio. You know that I blasted it in the parking lot.. shamelessly.
think i’m going for a walk now i feel a little unsteady
Today I had to go on another walk. I didn’t stop at the park like I normally do, because there were some kids playing there. I have listened to all of my Ani Difranco songs up until about the Ls at this point. This song hasn’t come up yet, but at 3 am this seems to make me feel better about something. I wish she wouldn’t blow me off the way that she does.
But I do look forward to seeing her again.
I was up above it
I’m the only one who’ll drown in my desire for you
It’s only fear that makes you run
The demons that you’re hiding from
When all your promises are gone
I’m the only one