I had a song to write about but I forgot what it was now. The other day I was driving in the car with her and I kept coming across the Passenger song, “Let Her Go.” and I had to keep changing it because I couldn’t listen to it next to her. When I check my Shazam I am reminded it was Dreams by The Cranberries….
Most people don’t know this about me.. but I didn’t believe that I would ever let myself love someone again, and I’m pretty sure that I do….
We were out to dinner, eating a very nice burger and fries, when this song distracted me from our conversation. I said something small and tried to act like my life wasn’t completely consumed by my feelings for her. People like when you can play it cool.. I smiled, I’m sure she knew… Now I keep replaying it in my head and thinking about her..
Today when I was driving to get my hair cut, this song came on the radio. The first verse cut deep. It was one of those situations where I heard these words from someone else.. to that other someone else. It kinda made me mad to be honest. I never say anything, because – I only want her to be happy..
But if she thinks that I didn’t notice the change in where she wears her rings, I have to say, that I pay more attention than that..
The last part of the song, after it slows down, always makes me of think of something else, related, coincidentally.. like when I say most mean things out of passion.. It’s a bit rough to find yourself in some situations. The last line – feels like a dagger.. if anyone likes to know about things like that.
I notice other things, but have more patience than most people.
As I couldn’t shake the first verse and then the last few words, I wondered where the song changes.. What’s up with the genders and why does it fit perfectly to me? It probably shouldn’t work out that way…
The Lyrics that I had to go back and read to prove to myself that I wasn’t hearing things.. Rumor Has It
As I drove to the hair salon, for the first time – these lyrics had be staring into space…
She, she ain’t real,
She ain’t gonna be able to love you like I will,
She is a stranger,
You and I have history,
Or don’t you remember?
Sure, she’s got it all,
But, baby, is that really what you want?
Bless your soul, you’ve got your head in the clouds,
You made a fool out of you,
And, boy, she’s bringing you down,
She made your heart melt,
But you’re cold to the core,
Now rumour has it she ain’t got your love anymore
I was a bit caught off guard on how person I took the words. Then as I pulled into my parking spot and started to turn off the car, it ended with:
It must have been the trans that I was in, but I was stuck with a… “Hey wait a minute….. type feeling.” I may never understand what that song just did, but it seemed to really get my attention.
I can’t imagine why I would post such a song on my lunch break, but I guess songs like that get to me every time.
Today, I heard this song on the radio… and it took me back to the day my sister and niece saw her at walmart when she was buying her bike. The look on my sister’s face when she was talking to me about it said… “Sis.. believe what you want, but your lady is bi.. and with a guy.” Why couldn’t she have been wrong.. just this once.
I often wonder if I am convincingly over her.. but I am sure she sees right through it. It’s one of those things when you are glad people can see right through you, but at least your trying.