Music
In front of total strangers won’t you kiss me
During my ‘birthday party’ I received a text that sent me back to what’s really important. I don’t mean to get side tracked so easily, but the minute that I see her.. that’s all that I can see. Nothing else matters, especially people that I try my hardest to forget that they exist..
She said that she was kind of in trouble, and that left me blaming myself. We don’t do a thing wrong, but I’m aware that my feelings are wrong and maybe she has some of those too. It’s all an extremely complicated journey that just makes me want to watch The Lake House all the way through, just to hear Sandra Bullock say, “You waited!” I can barely handle romantic things like that.
At night, as I lay in bed, I think about how we are similar to a couple that you would see in a black and white romance movie. However, as unexpected as it is, I am the woman, all done up with curly hair and a white dress completely with doughy eyes and all, and she is Hugh Grant, in a suit with a fancy hat on, kissing me sweetly just before she tells me that she has to leave. Oh how I love / hate how that feels. I know that she feels the same way about me as I do her.. or I wouldn’t be so quick to sacrifice my time and sanity.
and one more video to help the heart beat…
Sometimes love don’t feel like it should
Today, I faced my fears.. and gave her the card that was burning a hole in my pocket. She was perfectly sweet to me, just as I expected. My new computer watch was even noticed, I’d hate to tell her I have no idea how to use the thing. I hope it brightens her day and fills her heart with warmth. She looked a little sad, but I would never try to hold a whole conversation with someone at work. I kept it professional and then left.
This was the first song that I took note of on the radio this morning. I think that there was one on when I got in the car but it must not have been very impactful.
This morning before work, this image game me some hope, inspiration and all those important things. It really made me think about security and the deepest of feelings for someone. I never let society define me… or my love.
I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
I painted a birthday card for her, or more like I painted on one.. it couldn’t be more perfect, if you ask me. Which leads to the next perfect thing:
and then my phone played this next:
On that note, I have never seen the notebook but I have heard that it is an incredibly romantic movie. Some people say I am a bit romantic.. though, I always wonder what she actually thinks about it all. It’s all – a little – irregular….
Where the fuck were you?
My favorite song, listened to only on the rarest of occasions…
I’ve been careless with a delicate man
Tonight, while I was watching the new American Horror Story with friends, the words in “Criminal” seemed to speak to me. I don’t blame her for a thing that has happened and once in a while when I am thinking about the way things turned out – I can’t help but ask myself – was it terrible timing or perfect timing?
If things happened in a different order, theres a good chance that I would have ran screaming in the other direction… let’s be honest.
She’s everything that I have ever wanted in a friend and partner but I have so many preconceived notions that I have created to ‘keep me safe’ I would have been over whelmed long ago. I’ll have to admit that she has a way of handling me..
And since this song also seems appropriate, it will be added. Today was so long and the hardest part at this point was wonder what I did and trying to keep myself from pestering her.
On that note, I realized that – deep in my heart, I am so confident that she loves me and that she feels all these things for me. A few things have been said here and there so that I know that things are not completely one sided, but I can’t help but be shocked at my audacity sometimes. It’s like part of me is terrified that I have done something to upset her which constantly argues with the part of me that just wants me to calm down and ‘let her do her own thing.’ That is the side that knows she does not want to hurt me like this, but it just comes with the situation. That is the same side that sees her pushing me away in hopes of protecting me from the pain. I’m not convinced that it works, but I will keep believing in brightening her life the way she enlightens mine.
I’ve become impossible
Anywhere I would’ve followed you
When I hear this song on the radio, I get really sad.
The video is a lot more impressive than I expected. By the time that the song ends, I’m driving in the car, I’m passionate, in love, and then laugh at myself and think — yeah right, no one believes that… not even me.
But it’s a good song. I couldn’t walk away – even if I tried. That force.
Not to be symbolic or anything – but I bought her a bunch of awesome socks for her birthday – along with other things.. It’s in a few days and — well, maybe that’s what I am giving up on, because I sure just opened some batman socks and put them on to get me through my day..
However, not to be romantic or anything, but I still wish that someday, everything that is mine, is hers.. so now she just has to wait a little longer for batman socks. I’m such a jerk..
I wish I was a little bit taller…
That’s figurative, this is what I do in my emails when I get nervous. Luckily – It’s time for work.