I remember the first time that I had heard this song. Now, I realize that it had already been out for a few years at least, but it was around the time that Wrecking Ball came out. She heard about it in an email, I am sure.
Music
I’m Crazy
My heart’s crippled by the vein that I keep on closing
Your friends they stand around they watch your crumble
I don’t want nobody to follow me, except maybe you
Today, I woke up in quite an emotionally ornery mood. It’s so difficult to miss M so much and continue to give her the space and time that she needs. How do people do this? Why does she do this?
Send a smile and show you care
Today, I drifted to reading a horoscope and I appreciate that it was more kind than the last that I had read.
Here is some soft music that the radio has subjected me to recently;
So you wanna play with magic
Somehow I thought this was a newer song when I hear it recently. Maybe it’s because I don’t listen to music like this, but this is an interesting video. I sent her an email last night after I talked to my grandma on the phone and she told me that she thought she was dying. She wasn’t exaggerating and it scared me more than I could imagine. That perspective was reopened and I forgot about my romantic… (non) interest and remembered about true love. Suddenly, I am just concerned about my grandma. My New Years resolution if not to email her in 2015.. until she contacts me. It will be hard and I will miss her, but what’s really important here?
a great friend showed me this. it almost made my day.
And who am I that I should be vying for your touch
Today, I took it pretty personally when she walked to the back as I came in to get my pizza. Maybe that’s what happens when I look forward to something too much. My friend that was with me stands with the idea that she never even saw us and I can only hope that was true.
When my friends and I saw this online while looking at tattoos yesterday, they said that I need to get a chicken, bacon, mushroom one. What she doesn’t know is that I have never had that pizza from anywhere but there. I just made it up to be different and awesome and well, it got me noticed, or something, not like she didn’t already know me, but she knows my pizza. I have never been like this over a person. It could be fun if anything were different but this is just extremely depressing.
It’s not hard to see that I’m in so over my head but I don’t walk away easily.
At this moment in time, I am so disappointed in myself for not being able to stop these feelings.