Music

And if I must be lonely, I think I’d rather be alone

• by admin • In Alternative rock, Music, Rock •   0

This song….

…is one of those songs I hear from another perspective now.

If she can tell what I am feeling and thinking, that was interesting. I had no idea that the movie had some many reoccurring themes.

Just today, I was thinking about that dream that I had. The one that meant the most to me.

It’s been weeks ago by now. It was the Sunday before I returned to work from my vacation, so I believe that makes it about a month ago. I probably haven’t seen her since I had that dream. Now is the first time I put that all together.

I believe I disclosed a few details about the dream to her. The words that she spoke to me in the dream circle me daily. The look on her face when she said it follows me as well.

“J__, I love you, I truly do, but now is not the time.”

Last night, I had a dream that was similar, but in the one mentioned above, there was nothing but us, completely darkness, like a photo shoot almost.

In the dream last night, it was not as secluded, just every day life, and she said something to someone along the lines of, “She doesn’t know that I will be there to take amazing care of her, no matter what.” There was nothing there, but my heart and feelings, to tell me that she was talking about me, but she sure did spend 3 hours watching a movie that I wanted to see. That goes far with this little lady.

Has someone taken your faith?

• by admin • In Music, Rock •   0

Let it be on record that I have never put myself out there so much i my life. So far, nothing too terrible has happened. She said yes… when I asked her to go to the movies. It doesn’t take much to turn my boring day around.

Today when I was adventuring off to find life, these songs made their way to my ears and heart. Fuckin 99.5.

followed by,

Now I am going to get onto doing my best, “I am pretty.. but not trying too hard because I know this is not a date…” impression. Dang, I miss anyone making me feel like this, even when I have absolutly no chance.. and couldn’t care less. She knows me.

just a few more..

if she only knew.

I never meant to start a war

• by admin • In Blues, Music, Pop •   0

Skipping work to sleep all day sounds extremely expensive at this point in time. It’s complicated corporate bullshit since tomorrow is.. was a paid holiday. Whatever, health is important and I never miss work. The playlist that has worked itself into my day is quite repetitive.

The first time that I heard this song, I thought about her and it hit pretty hard. Back then – things were much different. I understood a lot less but still felt.. something was happening.

I had searched my last name and Slovania trying to get that former president’s name. It was when I was adding my dad and little brother on skype. Then I was curious enough to search my last name to see what other family members had skype accounts. I was suddenly reminded that the internet is not only nation wide and suddenly my name looked pretty normal next to theirs. I forgot what that lady’s name was so I searched that and found a hilarious parody of “Wrecking Ball.”

From there it was all down hill. My friend was here. She put up with me listening to this song next. We were discussing how we felt about these young ladies getting so naked so casually in music videos. Don’t get me wrong, I am as guilty as every other American enjoying these videos.. but I hate that I do. Out of curiosity, I had to research when that was and sources say August 2013, which was a confusing time for this lady. I’m adaptable. Now I expect it..

The youtube must have sensed my mood because after I listened to that song tonight, this popped up.

It was like it was reading my mind. Damn computer – quit reminding me how predictable I am. At least I have dealt with situations better this time. I don’t think that I have ever been able to consider anyone else’s feelings before. I am always reminded of simple text messages that put me back in my place. I never wanted to hurt her, at all.

In other news, I told my friend that I was over here about my brother’s snake bite situation 11 years ago. She teared up and felt it was Oprah worthy. I’d rather believe that anyone would help a family member the same. I wasn’t really the one helping but more of my grandmother. It was a bad day.. or while I guess you would say.

All the times that I felt like this won’t end

• by admin • In Dreams, Music, Rock •   0

And here’s a blast from the past for anyone old enough to have seen a music video on MTV..

Today’s awesome discovery about life is Astral Projection, which could be the reason for my insanely real feeling dreams.

Since we are visiting last decade.. or more really; I will go ahead and play a song from another artist that I have seen live. I’m secure in my masculinity..

The only line that bothers me in this song right now is the “Ugly like me,” because I think that we both have quite beautiful souls.

You said that you could let it go

• by admin • In Music, Pop •   0

Oh tonight is rough and this song has always gotten to me pretty well.

Despite everything falling to pieces around me as I tried to solve the puzzle.. she makes me feel incredibly special. The verse by Kimbra really affects me deeply because.. I wasn’t the best girlfriend with T. I had a lot of anxiety problems and freaked out often at things like her staying out late with guys. Maybe if she actually listened to me like M listens to him, I wouldn’t be single at this time.

It hurts because I blame myself for that. For most things really. Now I just want to calm the hell down so that I can hang out with my favorite people without making their boyfriends mad or sad or whatever boyfriends do. I don’t know much about those things.