The world around us disappears

I am posting this dream a day later, so I hope that I have not forgotten much of it.  The dream was the first dream in a series that I have had and been able to remember so well.

It’s hard to pin point exactly how it started, but I was over by a close friend’s house on my bike and somehow I ended up inside.  I heard someone coming and knew that I wasn’t supposed to be there, so I hid in this room that seemed more like a pantry stacked full of random items.  My friend’s partner came in the room and found me.  I felt like I was hiding like a scared mouse.  I was confused as to why I was in their house, but he seemed less than surprised.

I stood near the door way talking to him.  The topic of conversation escapes me but it was a calm and casual conversation.  She sat behind me shaking her head ‘no’ as if she didn’t want me to say something, but there was nothing controversial being said.  I came to and left from the house a few times.  The house was debilitates and the best way that I can describe it is it was like a rundown drug house.  The front room was made out of a school bus that was falling apart and had been painted white.  There seemed to be way too many people living there and I found out that she was sleeping on a pull out couch with several other people, so I urged her to leave with me.  She never seemed willing to leave.

The area seemed like a war zone, I had to stay alert as I rode my bike over to her house each time.  Once I was passing her house as I heard the car approaching, it sputtered and broke down right out side the house and I was attempting to help him fix it.

In one of the times that I was coming or going, I starting talking to this girl, she introduced herself with the same name as my friend.  I didn’t think much of it but later I told my friend and she gave me a concerned look and told me that this girl’s name was Ophelia and she has no idea why she would lie and tell me otherwise.  She suggested that I stay away from her because she was bad news.

Throughout the dream, I was trying to convince my friend that she should leave with me and that she deserved better than this.  She continuously refused, but I could see in her eyes that she wanted to go.

At some point in my dream, I had had my bike right there with me and the next thing I knew, it was missing.  I searched for it frantically for a moment and then suddenly gave up and just walked off.

After I told someone about my dream and started to think about it more, more details came back to me.  I looked up a few things and I was surprised as to what I found.

The name Ophelia is a Greek baby name. In Greek the meaning of the name Ophelia is: Help.

Bicycle

To dream that you are riding a bicycle signifies your desires to attain a balance in your life. You need to balance work and pleasure in order to succeed in your current undertakings. If you have difficulties riding the bicycle, then it suggests that you are experiencing anxieties about making it on your own. If you are riding a push bike, then it means that you want to move forward at your own pace and by your own power.

Shack

To see a shack in your dream represents your undeveloped self. You need to expand your Self. Alternatively, the dream may also be a pun on “shacking up”.

Car

To dream that your car won’t start indicates that you are feeling powerless in some situation.

Hiding

To dream that you are hiding suggests that you are keeping some secret or withholding some information. You may not be facing up to a situation or dealing with some issue. However, you may be getting ready to reveal something and confess before somebody finds out. In particular, to dream that you are hiding from some authority figure (police, parent, teacher…), implies feelings of guilt.

War

To dream of a war signifies disorder and chaos in your waking life You are experiencing some internal conflict or emotional struggle which is tearing you up inside. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you are either being overly aggressive or that you are not being assertive enough. Perhaps you need to be prepared to put up a fight in some area of your life.

As large as life she stood there

It had been a good while since I had talked to her last.  Almost exactly a month, because the first day that I hung out with the gf, I told her about how I had gotten drunk the night before.  I am way too honest.  I explained why I was upset, what I said and how she didn’t say much.  She reassured me the next day but then we didn’t talk again until this weekend.  This song came on in my dad’s truck sometime last week.  It reminded me that I probably… that I won’t be going to visit her next month as I had planned.. its about 2 weeks away.  It’s been three years.  My new girlfriend was helping me clean my room.. and mentioned my calendar that is left on July 2013.. These are the moments that get me in trouble.

Don’t ask what happened next…

Last night, I got drunk with my friends and texted he   r to the point where I felt irritating as fuck but it may have just been her quick response.  That made me think that I should go get sandwiches with my friends this morning. I stopped in the local record shop and picked up the album, Sleeping With Ghosts by Placebo.  Most of my records have been bought used, so I liked being able to get one of my favorite albums.

When I parked my car, I saw that his car was there too.  I was slightly shaken but I told myself that I would be fine.  When I walked into the record store, I was trying to help me calm my nerves in there and when I came across that album, I knew it was just the thing.  I bought it while I waited for my friends to meet me and then we went over there.

Updated: 3/19/2018 – Title, category, tags, image

We both tipped him well that day and he brought us jalapeno poppers.  I don’t think that I have seen him since.  The next day, I went to a co-workers house to hang out.  I had no idea what was about to happen when I met her baby.  …She seemed straight and I thought that she needed friends.. 

Nobody’s Perfect.. Trust Me I’ve Heard It

Tonight, I feel like I made an ass out of myself in front of the lady.. and by in front of — I mean that I sent her a text message that I questioned later – or 10.  Drinking is bad m ‘kay.  When you are sitting in a bar and something makes your think.. I should text the lady that I can’t get off my mind.. this text about an email that I sent her almost 2 years ago.. Don’t.  You might spend the next forever and a half wondering what she is thinking.

Maybe I’m all messed up
Maybe I’m all messed up
Maybe I’m all messed up in you

I Grow Fonder Everyday Day,
Loose Myself in Time
Just Thinking of Your Name

I expected summer to be there in the morning

Jeremyville06The first time that I heard this, I listened in amazement and then watched a falling star.  I made a wish as I saw it falling towards her house.  I have forgotten what my exact wish was but I always try to be specific so that something weird wouldn’t happen.. I can imagine that my wish may have been something like, “I wish that she will do what makes her truly happy, no matter who she ends up with, I just want to know that she loves me.”  I look back at that night, often.  I wonder what I wished and how much of it has come true since then.  She was in San Francisco at the time to see a band.

When she landed, she sent me a text to let me know that she arrived safely.  The next text said something like, we should live her someday… Since I have been in love with her for about as long as I can remember at this point, my heart melted all over the place and I never forgot that moment in time.

Don’t tell me cause it hurts

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This morning, I was day dreaming about the lady way too early.  I listened to some Adele, sent her a revealing email and by that I mean completely sincere and open – nothing that modern day society may think.

YouTube took me to Tracy Chapman and then No Doubt.  This is a song that I have known most of my life but today, I finally knew what it meant.  I had been there.  It described the last few years of my life.

I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

Sometimes, I am just way too open with my lady friend.

Thing song always makes me think about the day that she was leaving.. I wanted to make her change her mind..

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This happens to be one of my favorite songs.. today, it’s making me think about her — for no particular reason at all.

As I drove home from work today, the song that I recently mentioned, Charlie Puth – One Call Away played on the radio.  It’s interesting because I had just heard it for the first time that day from YouTube.  Leave it to the radio conspiracy.