Music

And I had a feeling that I belonged

• by admin • In Indie Folk, Music, Pop Rock, Soul music •   Comments Off on And I had a feeling that I belonged

Tomorrow, I take Dutchess in to get surgery on her fatty lumps and skin tags because they could be cancerous. This is all too much for me. Some dirty chick is nextdoor with the kids I love or out getting drunk with someone I thought cared about me a little more than she does. I want to go for a run but I am sad to say that I would rather not go out alone without anyone to tell where I am.. and well, right now, that’s where I am. I have no one to tell where I will be for the first time in a few years. I have been yearning for it and even begging for it and here I am – finding myself lonely. I told myself that I would do all these productive things if I had time to myself again, but instead I obsess over what she is doing and with whom.

There are addictions to feed and there are mouths to pay

• by admin • In Indie Folk, Music •   0

I always have to remember that I should be able to handle what I ask for. I have been trying to find a way out of this relationship for a while now, but when she moves on before I realize that we are actually broken up – it hurts.  Not to mention, it didn’t help that it’s the mechanic that she met since we have been together.  She has been obsessed with her ever since and even kicked my brother out of our house when he was talking shit about her.

I let her come in my house, smoked with her and she took my believed to be girlfriend out on New Years Eve. For some reason, I didn’t expect to be so offended and defensive, but I guess that is what my life has become.  My old friends will be glad to have me back, but it will be hard gathering them all up.  One of the last women that I dated – years ago – has already had a baby, left her boyfriend and gotten back with him – not that I am keeping tabs.  Then well, my favorite friend still can’t or won’t talk to me anymore – so that’s always fun and difficult.  The only reason that I ever thought it would be a good idea to be in a relationship in the first place, is I thought it would help guys trust me with their girlfriends but apparently, I’ve gone and fucked that one up.

It’s a small crime

• by admin • In Indie Rock, Music •   Comments Off on It’s a small crime

This has always been one of my favorite song but the video kind of creeps me out.

My brother came home from drinking.  He is still talking about this girl that really messed him up down in Port A.

He kind of reminds me of someone I know.  I have heard, “What did I do wrong?” way too many times.

Oh my resistance ain’t that strong.

• by admin • In Country, Music •   0

Today, I came across a video online. At a glance, I confused Travis Tritt with Tracy Byrd. When I read who it was, I laughed to myself – because it’s really not that far off.

This is the county that I used to listen to as I would fall asleep at nap time when I stayed with my grandma before I started school.  My grandma always had 97.3 playing.  Even when I was too old to take a nap, I spent my summers at my grandparents house.  They had a home daycare that she started in order to take care of me after my mom left us.  To say the least, the song was an emotional journey to listen to.

Last night, I googled her name.  Sometimes I like to do that for the fuck of it.  Nothing new ever comes up.  She is a private person.  There’s not a whole lot to look at but this one site always comes up.  Its come background check type site.  The site is called www.fastpeoplesearch.com which seems like some fake ass shit to me, but the address information on these seems quite accurate.  I’ve google mapped plenty of addresses from that site just to look at old homes.. It’s not the first time I have looked at the site and clicked through names.  Last night, I must have clicked too many times because I ended up on C’s name and much to my surprise, his address was listed as one of my best friend’s houses… She has since moved, long ago, but for the first few seconds, that didn’t register.  My immediate reaction was, why does he have A’s address on his name?  Once I realized the world, in fact, did not revolve around me, I decided that that was one random chain of events.  If I had not moved last year, we would live about a block apart.  Luckily – I did move.. and then move back, so at least we are like 5 blocks away.

It’s still very strange to me.  I decided this was a good sign that I needed to get off the computer and try to go to bed.  I couldn’t.  So I got back on and emailed her – because I like telling her how weird I am.  It’s a tragic flaw of mine…  In my quest to be a tragic hero.