Window

In the beginning it is always dark

• by She Says • In Dreams •   Comments Off on In the beginning it is always dark

Last night, I had a dream that she and I were in an upstairs bedroom somewhere and a black wolf jumped in through a picture window. When I was very young, I slept next to a large picture window that opened to my grandparents backyard. I was always afraid of something coming through that window.

The wolf looked just like Gmork in ‘The Neverending Story.’ In my dream, I grabbed it by the snout like I would with my dog and over powered. I was able to get it to a smaller window and show it through – only that window seemed to go down to a small room that was like a bathroom so someone had to come remove it for us.

Once the dream came back to me when I woke up, I found:

To see a wolf in your dream symbolizes survival, beauty, solitude, mystery, self-confidence and pride. You are able to keep your composure in a variety of social circumstances and blend into any situation with ease and grace. You are also a loner by choice. Negatively, the wolf represents hostility, aggression, or sneakiness. Dreaming that a wolf is attacking you reflects an uncontrollable situation or an all-consuming force in your life. This could point to an obsession, an addiction, a codependent or abusive relationship or something that is beyond your control.

I had gone to sleep quite happy shortly after receiving a sweet message where she asked if we could see each other today.

Opportunity Cost.

• by admin • In Folk, Folk Rock, Grammy Nominee, Heartland rock, Music •   0

I have been an emotional mess lately but I think that I have also held it all together pretty well.  It’s almost a shame that there is a pill for that.. well, at least a combination of pills, but I feel like it would be possible to do it without pills but I don’t know how to get the motivation and disciple that it takes so instead, I take pills, which take a level of disciple itself.  It will be 4 years since I started this site next month.  First, she told me that we couldn’t talk or see each other again and then a combination of a few calls and my supervisor at the time’s abrasive coaching method, lead me to walk out, schedule an appointment with my doctor and tell her that I needed to get back on my medicine.  Since then she has added to it and on most days, I am just fine – but other days, even if I can stop the mental side of the anxiety, I still feel the physical affects and it lasts for days.

Today, I am struggling at work.  There is someone that I really want to talk to and just walk with, but I can’t and that’s even more frusterating. Yesterday, I ended up getting stuck in Spring Break traffic on the way back from picking up a kid 300 miles away and nearly lost it.  Some may claim I did lose it but I feel like that is all relative and the only witnesses are not the most credible for different reasons.  The non verbal one has plenty of limitations but the other two, can’t share an unbiased opinion not to mention, one is eight years old.  My free time has expired, so this will continue at a later date.