Sweet Surrender

Oh, into the sea of waking dreams

• by She Says • In Dreams, Grammy Nominee, Music, Pop •   Comments Off on Oh, into the sea of waking dreams

I follow without pride
Because nothing stands between us here

Dream Notes

  • ipad left at my house, opened to gmail
  • top email was unread message from her sister, I knew that I could not read it
  • made sure not to read other subjects in email
  • subject to sister’s email was something like it’s meeeeeee
  • she had a piano recital the next day
  • tubing the river on one large tube balancing each other
  • old fridge
  • hookah on top of fridge
  • discussion with person in house if I was staying as we left saying I wouldn’t want to sleep downstairs
  • house was old, many rooms, white, co-op style
  • somewhere near waco
  • came by my house before leaving
  • had to call him before we left on video call, he didn’t answer which made her nervous
  • she said something important right before I woke up
  • stared into each others eyes communicating without words

In my dream, at one point we were tubing down the river on one tube. you were sitting up on the side somehow and I was hanging on to the edge as we were talking. I only remember one thing that was said but it was pretty specific.

Hookah

To see or smoke a hookah in your dream represents ease and relaxation. Alternatively, it refers to the difficulties your are facing in your waking life. You may be bottling up your emotions.

IPad

To see an iPad in your dream represents modern life and your connections with others. It also suggests that you want to put something on display. Consider the significance of what you are doing on the iPad and how that parallels an aspect of your waking life. Alternatively, seeing an iPad in your dream may be a pun on “your home” or “your place”.

River

To see a clear and calm river in your dream indicates that you are just going with the flow. You are allowing your life to float away. It is time to take a more decisive role in directing your life. Alternatively, a river symbolizes joyful pleasures, peace, prosperity and fertility. It is also reflective of a new stage in your life. If the river is muddy, then it indicates that you are in turmoil.

Alternatively, this dream means you are ready to confront life’s challenges and life’s twists and turns.

Tubing

To dream that you are tubing suggests that you are on experiencing emotional ups and downs.

Refrigerator

To see or open a refrigerator in your dream represents your chilling personality and/or cold emotions. The dream may also be telling you that you need to put some goal, plan, or situation on hold. Alternatively, a refrigerator signifies that you have accomplished what you have been subconsciously seeking.

To dream that the refrigerator has broken down suggests that you need to warm up to somebody or some situation. It is time to let go of those harsh, cold feelings.

If you dream of a very full refrigerator, then it symbolizes your untapped resources.

Piano

To dream that you are playing a piano indicates a quest for harmony in your life. Consider where the piano is placed as a clue as to what aspect of your life needs accordance. If no sound is coming out of the piano, then it implies a lack of confidence. You are not sure about how to express yourself and how to voice your beliefs.

To dream that you hear the sound of a piano suggests harmony in your life. You are pleased with the way your life is going.

To dream that the piano needs to be tuned indicates some aspect of your life is in discord. You need to devote more time to a relationship, family duties, project, or other situation.

North

To dream of the direction north symbolizes reality. It also indicates that you are making progress and moving forward in life.

It’s no good to go alone

• by admin • In Grammy Nominee, Music •   0

Refreshing not to see
That I don’t have to pretend
She doesn’t expect it from me

Today, I couldn’t shake this album that my love would describe in a painstaking way but somehow Mirrorball has been one of those albums I have fallen back on all of my lesbian career. I remember driving up I35 near Oklahoma listening to this song on my first ridiculous journey. She’s a he now and its just interesting to think about – but those roads taught me this album. It wasn’t until this decade that the words really meant something to me.

This was over played and it ruined it in ways, but it does still touch my heart
I never understood the actual meaning of this song but lines of it touch me deeply
I have been holding back this art that I made from this song because I feel like I am too intense, but she has told me not to hold back but I am still ridiculously nervous and embarrassed by my extreme feelings.

It’s strange to me that my grandparents and great grand parents were getting married in their teens and staying married forever and I can’t even convince someone that I… well, I will be 40 before I know it. Why do I even feel this way.

And the best part, is after that emotional journey that this album takes me on, I am left wanting to watch “Better than Chocolate”

One more time

You’re so much more than good enough

• by admin • In Folk Rock, Grammy Nominee, Rock •   0

Listening to the songs below just remind me of the days that I longed to be in love. I couldn’t wait until these songs meant more to me and now, I am deathly afraid of it, so much so, that I have grown complacent and have no desire to talk to others. Throwing me into a room full of men and a butch lesbian and a ghetto 50 year old married woman was a cruel and unusual punishment, but it will ensure that I do not fall victim to whatever manipulator roles up into the local phone company. I have so many mixed feelings that I feel awful saying, but I fell in love with the young kids soon – and I an afraid that was the plan all along.

Anyone would be mad at how many Melissa Etheridge cruises I could have gone on if I wasn’t supporting so many people. Somehow there is always a leach and I feel like it is getting painfully obvious.

I feel like my brother is feeling guilty for his mental state and dependency on me so he is leaving to Seattle and I can only support him and hope he makes good decisions. I am going to make sure he gets a roommate place when he gets there and pay for the first month and I sure as hell hope he can take it from there because a room for rent up in Seattle is $700 and if I am paying for rent in Seattle, it is going to be real painful to pay my rent here too. Then there is my ex and the kids – they should be leaving by July 25th, because from what I understand there is someone waiting to move in there. That will be a relief and a stressed too. I will be worried about my minor and adult children as they are out of site, but that’s fine really. I need a damn break.

I have talked to the person that recorded this a few times online. She talked to me about my Melissa Etheridge videos from New Braunfels, but I have started to notice that she has thousands of videos. She is clearly no amateur. I want to ask her what she does but I am not that assertive. I couldn’t even bring myself to send it to her, I only mentioned it as casually as possible. The truth is, when I stumbled across it, I felt my pulse accelerate until I could feel my heart beat in my throat. Due to currently technology, my brain deiced to measure it, because math and history – well, 120 bpm is how this recording makes me feel even though the sound quality is tricky. It’s on a cruise ship, think about the limitations.

I shall now refer to Bishop as the great divide.. not really but tonight I will.

When I was younger and started to listen to what I would call Lesbian Music despite the fact that many were not lesbians at all, I meant wymen rock or something – I don’t know the correct term but I have seen it come up in Ani Difranco’s book, however the other term seems more derogatory to me – this isnt the WNBA here, these are international rock stars.

This is the first time I have listened to these songs in the last 6+ years… I am sorry that they mean so much to me. I guess this is what sorry – not sorry means.. I really can’t put into words how listening to these songs feels and I know that I shouldn’t – so there’s that.

What is San Francisco like this time of year? Are pitbulls welcome?