Say Something

This is my heart bleeding before you

• by She Says • In Rock •   Comments Off on This is my heart bleeding before you

Today, as I picked my patterns apart, I questioned why the holidays are so painful for me. Words echoed in my heart and it started to make sense. My childhood was what most would consider less than ideal. When my aunt was talking me though whatever situation I was dealing with – she would tell me that one day I would have my own family to celebrate Christmas with, I don’t know exactly what she would say but it would give me hope for the future.

Now that I am here, I am terrified that time will pass me by and all I want is my own family.

And I will swallow my pride

• by admin • In Folk Rock, Music, Pop, Rock •   0

What would she think if she could see me right now.. she’d be impressed that I could scream every word to these terrible songs that I have listened to since I owned my first CD…

and I do know.. deep down inside, she would be rooting for me.

but I am still crumbling.

YouTube picked every one of these damn songs – which only proves that I was never cool – only, extremely excited.

I stopped it after that one because it freaked me out. I have seen The Social Network and the way my random poems have changed is really fucking weird. A post with those to come because I have been saving them just because its unbelievable. I guess you notice what is on your mind.

Trust me I’ve learned it

• by admin • In Blue-Eyed Soul, Soul music •   0

My day feels like a ‘Save the Polar bears’ commercial today and I would have to admin it is not my favorite.

Then I held my breath until she messaged me – and suddenly everything felt right again.

Sometimes the silence doesn’t bother me at all

Other times, it terrifies me.

I’ll be the one, if you want me to

• by admin • In Music, Pop, Pop Rock •   Comments Off on I’ll be the one, if you want me to

There is this new polar bear commercial that uses this song, but less than 30 seconds of it. They are about to ruin this song just like they did the Sarah McLachlan song that no one will ever hear the same again.

They keep playing it on the local channels that I have and it leaves a feeling in the pit of my stomach that would be hard for me to explain to most. If you read the other posts with it in them – I should it would be a start.

It leaves me grateful of where I am in life and it reminds me of how offended I was when it came out. I scoffed at the song and took it as a challenge. Over 6 years ago, I knew – that I wasn’t going to give up on her but I did have moments that I was desperate to hear from her and this song carved scars in my bones. Tonight, she tells me that she wants to bathe in the universe with me and I feel complete. Then I suggested that I would climb through her window for her. I sure hope that she always finds my quirks endearing and that I never cross over any weird lines.

My heart was broken before this song ever came out, so when it did – I was already ‘vying for her touch.’ With every note of the piano, my heart breaks a little more. The first few years that I heard this song was more than painful. I would listen to Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball, Rihanna’s Stay. I was the toughest of lesbians. Passenger’s ‘Let Her Go’ frequented my playlist – but there was something about this song that brought me to a halt every single time.

I am so certain of the way that it made me feel, I know that if I were to look back on old posts, I would mention that I wouldn’t really give up on her – but maybe I should stop emailing her.. daily.

There were times that I convinced myself to stop. There were moments that I let my friends convince me that I was bothering her and completely wrong not to mention the epitome of assholes. There was extreme guilt involved coming from multiple directions – but she had a way of always letting me know that was not the case.

Say Something

Anywhere I would’ve followed you

• by admin • In Music, Pop •   0

When I hear this song on the radio, I get really sad.

The video is a lot more impressive than I expected. By the time that the song ends, I’m driving in the car, I’m passionate, in love, and then laugh at myself and think — yeah right, no one believes that… not even me.

But it’s a good song. I couldn’t walk away – even if I tried. That force.

Not to be symbolic or anything – but I bought her a bunch of awesome socks for her birthday – along with other things.. It’s in a few days and — well, maybe that’s what I am giving up on, because I sure just opened some batman socks and put them on to get me through my day..

However, not to be romantic or anything, but I still wish that someday, everything that is mine, is hers.. so now she just has to wait a little longer for batman socks. I’m such a jerk..

I wish I was a little bit taller…

That’s figurative, this is what I do in my emails when I get nervous. Luckily – It’s time for work.