I know the pieces fit

January 31, 2024January 31, 2024 • by She Says • In Rock • Comments Off

This morning I woke up in a panic, wondering when that Tool concert was. I sent her a quick message, telling her to avoid Tool concerts because they were a trap and then I had to go to my computer to look up when they would actually be near and I couldn’t have surprised myself more – the show was tonight. So I proceeded to over think it all day and work myself up.

There is far too much to say about why I was absolutely crushed when I heard that Tool was going on tour. I never even looked up the dates so I have no idea how I was able to pinpoint it to the day but maybe it was just the way it felt. I am quite experienced with this pattern – I just hate it so much.

After driving around late at night, I heard a familiar song that took me back to a night in 2014 that felt so much more painful. I thought about how I convinced myself that there was no way that I would run into them in so many people. The moment I turned around from waiting for the tram with the people that I was with only to see them right there. I panicked then too and started walking back to the car, knowing they were following me the whole way. Those days are over and I just have to make sure they do not continue to repeat, I don’t think that either of us can take much more of this. I will fight for her in the softest ways I know how.

You’ve been looking for something that’s not in your life

October 30, 2014September 29, 2021 • by admin • In Grammy Nominee, Music, Rock • 0

My heart melted when the first thing that she said to me from California was that we should move there… okay, it was the second, she told me when she landed safely. I am fortunate to have her in my life. Parts of this video look like something I would do – the cinder blocks with tiny things displayed on them. I love singing this song out loud. Lately, I have started singing the “the mist that covers your eyes” part in front of my friends when it comes on. The sincere smile that I get.. lets me know that everyone knows that my intentions are true. I have never been an unethical or immoral person, so I stuggle with a few things from time to time.

Like – why am I concerned with if he knows who I am or not. I mean, I am sure that he does unless drugs have gotten to him, if I had a beautiful woman in my life, maybe I could forget everything from over half my life ago… What am I saying..I do. She’s grand. Why do I think so much when I am alone?

We had advisory together.. I suppose that is like home room. I feel like he got less annoying the more we grew up. That’s more than I can say for his dumb ass friends that I will never say a positive thing about.

Opportunity Cost.

October 13, 2014September 30, 2021 • by admin • In Words • 0

I had too much fun with this app that I downloaded. This is one I did a week or two ago. We are a mighty team and I sure hope that she takes care of my little league shirt, I would never even let anyone else wear it. I bet she’s adorable. Last night I sent her an email, saying that I would stop…

I have her thoughts and feelings in mind. I don’t want to put her through more hell. The other day was national coming out day. I kept my lesbian comments to myself. Sometimes I get to a point where I think that I am ruining all of these women’s lives.. because they could all just go live normal, happy lives with men if it weren’t for me. I hate those feelings and thoughts.

It’s raining today and it’s taking me everything not to offer her a ride… or my car. I just want to send her a text and tell her that if she wants to take me to work she can use my car. I have never even done that before. I am such a push over… and I don’t even care.

Opportunity Cost.