I am the only one
It’s only fear that makes you run
Today – work was busy and went by fast. It was my first full time day, but I have been working 40 hours a week this whole time, but I didn’t get benefits before.
I got a surprise message today, asking if I had passed my tests. I told her that I had and about my new GoPro that I rewarded myself with for getting a solid job within 3 months – really, 5 weeks.
Somehow while screwing with my phone while working, I seemingly blocked her. I found this as I went to glance at our message and it wasn’t there. I was pretty proud of myself for calmly and logically addressing the situation instead of assuming the worst. I searched her name and saw a big ‘unblock’ on her profile. That was a scary 30 seconds. It reminded me about how lucky I am to have her in my life. I feel ridiculous and I hope that she doesn’t mind at all. It reminded me how much tiny messages here and there mean to me.
I ave been really getting into my YouTube and video editing, even though I think my stuff is crap – the only way to improve it is to keep trying. When I watch my old videos, I am reminded how much I have grown. Teal and Emily have both complimented me on how mature I have become. I can’t say that I am mature at all but I do last about 8 hours a day as an adult.
Last night, I noticed that my two most popular YouTube videos were private. Each video had more views than my entire channel. I made the random video that is really nothing at all, I simply took it for liability reasons had 7,222 views as of today. When I made it public, my channel views went up to 14,284 views. I am thinking about editing the company name out of the top video. I was asked to take it down by my former company because “it made the company look bad.” I will be posting that letter here, because it’s funny and I love talking about it – but since then, they have hired me to work for their company, promoted me to someone in management and then let me go in a reduction in force, so, yes, I think I will put the video back online without the incriminating company name in it just for fun, and to up my channel views to over 26,000.
I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone
Sometimes, I am just way too open with my lady friend.
Thing song always makes me think about the day that she was leaving.. I wanted to make her change her mind..
This happens to be one of my favorite songs.. today, it’s making me think about her — for no particular reason at all.
As I drove home from work today, the song that I recently mentioned, Charlie Puth – One Call Away played on the radio. It’s interesting because I had just heard it for the first time that day from YouTube. Leave it to the radio conspiracy.
Got to be true to myself
It’s been a while since I have posted anything. Tonight on the drive up to Austin, I heard this song and it took me back to the day that it has always reminded me about:
I wondered more than ever, what the words even meant. As I thought more and more about that day that she left me standing by my car as she left.. Then I thought.. “yeah and then I went all Melissa Etheridge on her.” It’s not something that I am specifically proud of, but I won’t deny it all the same. I started flipping through the radio stations when I ended up on one playing this song. I didn’t even have to change the station more than a few times.
The reason that I was in Austin, was for a concert. I saw Dashboard Confessional and 3rd Eye Blind. It was a good show. There was something missing and I was pretty sure that it was her.
Then on the way home, this song came on and I sang it until I lost my voice..
Tell me why it took thinking about her when I heard this song to make me realize that I may be a bit emotional today. I know that she is and I want to — make her smile.
It’s about that time.. when my dog wants me to come to bed.