My grandma has always been the person I was closest to.  On Christmas Eve, she was in the hospital.  I really panicked.  Last Saturday, I stayed at her house, because my aunt was out of town.  Today, I called her.  She isn’t feeling very well.  I am sure the weather has been difficult for her and when I was there last, she said that my aunt was making her stop taking some kind of panic attack medicine because it was too  strong for her.  She couldn’t tell me what the medicine was but maybe I should look into it more.  Today, she was getting frustrated because she couldn’t understand me on the phone.  When I told her that I loved her, for the first time, she replied with something other than” I love you too…” She said, “I don’t know why.”

I told her that I was coming to see her today and that it would be a few hours.  I have been crying my eyes out ever since.  My entire life, I have feared the day that I would not have my grandma to turn to.  She turns 87 on January 21st – and my life feels like it is crumbling already.