Dilate

And it’s my first time for this kind of thing

• by admin • In Folk, Rock •   0

As I listened to the album, Dilate, way too many times, I start to pay more attention to a few lines at the end.

Somehow, all of my thoughts flow as I drive in my car, but at home I am rarely alone with my thoughts these days, so they will have to wait, I guess.

My brother is planning on leaving to Seattle in a week. I have mixed feelings about it all – but I am keeping on my attempt to trust people in what they need, so I am supporting him and helping him get on his feet there. All while fearing that something will happen to him or Grandma while he is gone. That may be that PTSD limiting my life again. I am glad that he can get past it or doesn’t have a fear of loss, whichever it is.

All my dreams have started breaking

• by admin • In Folk Rock, Heartland rock •   0

I had a pretty emotional week, both good and sad. I helped Emily go through her late fathers things. I don’t think that she made it very far – it was really hard on her. Yesterday when I was seeing what she was up to, she said she had to take care of a few things in Austin, and then I realized my ex was marrying her friend – so I am sure that is where she was, just didn’t think she could tell me.

I have also really been keeping my distance from my ex but with that comes the desire to cuddle with someone or be sweet and close. I never really miss sex specifically but I miss intimacy and I have no desire to meet anyone so that’s a disappointing feeling.

And this is the first time I have seen the clip, but I had been told in the past that after you ‘concert’ so many women, you get a toaster over. In that joke, I don’t think whoever was saying it realized I don’t convert anyone.. I just sleep with straight women and get my heart broken. I am almost tired of this preference by now. I still believes that she has always identified as lesbian.. I just wish I was the lesbian she identified with..

and I’ll look out the window..

• by admin • In Folk, Folk Rock, Indie Folk, Indie Rock, Music, Neo-folk •   Comments Off on and I’ll look out the window..

.. making jokes about the way things are

Can I be the first to say that I fall in love with her over and over again.  It’s been like this since the day that met her.  She wouldn’t want to know that I often refer to her as ‘the woman that I am in love with..’  The next few words is always, ‘Well, what’s the problem?”  That’s never fun to try to avoid.. time, life, people, love. you pick.  They usually laugh and ask if she has a boyfriend.  Sometimes I just say that I hope not.. I have a reputation of liking straight women.. if they only knew.. she just might love me too.

This is what YouTube did to me tonight:

And who am I that I should be vying for your touch

• by admin • In Folk Rock, Music •   0

Today, I took it pretty personally when she walked to the back as I came in to get my pizza. Maybe that’s what happens when I look forward to something too much. My friend that was with me stands with the idea that she never even saw us and I can only hope that was true.

When my friends and I saw this online while looking at tattoos yesterday, they said that I need to get a chicken, bacon, mushroom one. What she doesn’t know is that I have never had that pizza from anywhere but there. I just made it up to be different and awesome and well, it got me noticed, or something, not like she didn’t already know me, but she knows my pizza. I have never been like this over a person. It could be fun if anything were different but this is just extremely depressing.

99-Awesome-Tattoos-for-Women-3

It’s not hard to see that I’m in so over my head but I don’t walk away easily.

At this moment in time, I am so disappointed in myself for not being able to stop these feelings.