I have been an emotional mess lately but I think that I have also held it all together pretty well.  It’s almost a shame that there is a pill for that.. well, at least a combination of pills, but I feel like it would be possible to do it without pills but I don’t know how to get the motivation and disciple that it takes so instead, I take pills, which take a level of disciple itself.  It will be 4 years since I started this site next month.  First, she told me that we couldn’t talk or see each other again and then a combination of a few calls and my supervisor at the time’s abrasive coaching method, lead me to walk out, schedule an appointment with my doctor and tell her that I needed to get back on my medicine.  Since then she has added to it and on most days, I am just fine – but other days, even if I can stop the mental side of the anxiety, I still feel the physical affects and it lasts for days.

Today, I am struggling at work.  There is someone that I really want to talk to and just walk with, but I can’t and that’s even more frusterating. Yesterday, I ended up getting stuck in Spring Break traffic on the way back from picking up a kid 300 miles away and nearly lost it.  Some may claim I did lose it but I feel like that is all relative and the only witnesses are not the most credible for different reasons.  The non verbal one has plenty of limitations but the other two, can’t share an unbiased opinion not to mention, one is eight years old.  My free time has expired, so this will continue at a later date.