You know that moment when you think, “Damn, I am fuckin gay….” I just had one of those.
90s
All the times that I felt like this won’t end
And here’s a blast from the past for anyone old enough to have seen a music video on MTV..
Today’s awesome discovery about life is Astral Projection, which could be the reason for my insanely real feeling dreams.
Since we are visiting last decade.. or more really; I will go ahead and play a song from another artist that I have seen live. I’m secure in my masculinity..
The only line that bothers me in this song right now is the “Ugly like me,” because I think that we both have quite beautiful souls.
I don’t have to pretend, she doesn’t expect it from me
I’m tough enough to say – music makes me cry, often.
screw this shit
I hope you had the time of you life
Does anyone want to know that I hung out with a guy from work tonight until about midnight.. and bought him dinner….
and I left her alone all night..
and a little of
You think this life would make me bolder
I’m so scared that I’ll never get put back together
The whole reason that I started this website, blog, mess, talking to my self situation, was to help me stop contacting her so often when she’s… doing her own thing. It looks like October is going to be an active month. It didn’t seem to help me sleep any better – at night. Maybe that’s because I slept all day. This being normal thing is quite difficult.
As I approach 3 AM, I’m going to post a hand full of cheesy songs, so I sure hope I have some leeway when it comes to being cool. I really listen to some bad music sometimes. Here’s to being secure and not giving a shit.. since no one will ever read this anyway.
I’m used to being laughed at, it’s really not that bad. Here’s my heart break compilation. I’m just going to hold my breath until she misses me.
Sometimes I feel so guilty for having feelings for her. Then again, I never know her relationship status so it’s always quite confusing. It creates the largest battle inside me.
Have I already said that all that I want is to fall asleep in her arms while she touches my face softly?
…pull put some hope for me.
Sometimes I wonder how I survived high school without getting beat up…
My brother used to sing this song at karaoke. It must be cool – I guess. He may be the answer to the previous question. He was pretty intimidating and grew up in Timberwood so he knew all those rich kids.
If you only knew how I really felt about all those guys.
I’f I couldn’t sleep, could you sleep?
I know that you’ve got me…
and before I go lay down to dream about her. I will end this depressing ass shit with my favorite song by matchbox twenty. yeah, its true, i like all of these things. she can laugh at me anytime that she wants to.
I am pretty sure that i deserve it at this point.
If you knew what I’m left imagining
When I say that I am always completely honest, that is a lie…
I always keep her feelings in mind. It isn’t always the first thing I think about and sometimes I have to calm down and remind myself what’s really important before I stop acting so childish.
If I told her how I really felt….
I would be afraid that I was providing a bias opinion. I know that no one would would give a shit about that but her feelings and best interests are what seem to be most important to me.. Which is exactly why at this point I just want her to tell me that she’s fine but she’s too busy to talk to me. Why is that comforting? I have no clue but I get pretty scared of some irrational things.
Do I really believe all of the things I imagine? I sure as fuck hope not, but crazy shit does happen. I never thought I would end up in such a situation. Just thinking about it all is enough to make me want to cry right now. One can imagine what I was like when I actually did read that post.
Did I say that I read it over and over again? Just to make sure.. that’s what it said. It never changed, and stayed up for so long.
When I think about that – I wonder how she felt when she read my reply – it actually devastates me to think about it. Just recently I was thinking about this, in a, I know its not easy being her either, type way…
This is when I just wish that I could sleep.