When I see one of my snowflake obsidian rocks laying around, I think about how distraught I was just over 2 weeks ago. There I was, after a long day of helping a friend move. We had loaded a different friend’s truck full of trash that I was headed to go dump illegally at my old complex. My car had broken down the day before – so I knew that I better take advantage of my situation.

I stopped at my initials and saw the three rocks were still there, so I picked them up so they didn’t get left. One was a snow flake obsidian, one of a pyrite and I don’t remember the other one but it would have had some sort of protective property to make it into this mix. When I had set them there, I had known my time was running out.

When I turned left at the end of the street, I looked right and saw the Uhaul. I tried to distract myself as I approached my illegal activities. I pulled up to the dumpster, turned my lights out and started throwing trash bags into the dumpster. It filled up quicker than I thought. My friend met me there and unloaded her car as well and then we left back to go to my house – but I took a few detours. I knew that this may be my last chance with a vehicle for a while.

I didn’t have a plan but I had passion, I had fear, there was a sense of panic about me. As I approached the hill, I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out 2 of my largest snowflake obsidian rocks. I held them tightly and thought all of the important words. As I got close to her house, I slowed down. I had planned to throw them towards the Uhaul in hopes that she may see them the next day and think about me a little – I was hoping to provoke a smile on a day that I thought may be extremely difficult for her. When it was time, I shyly through the rocks barely past the road if even that – I was afraid of hitting anything once it came down to it – I wasn’t throwing rocks to cause damage, I was throwing rocks to make her smile.

I may never know if those 2 rocks made it into her drive way at all. I am sure that I will never bring it up but in all reality – that is something that I would do. It just crosses my mind – and I am so thankful that it was not much longer later before my faith in humanity was restored. I shouldn’t be so flakey on such a thing – in reality – I believed in the future the entire time but the world knows that I was sincerely scared and quite the asshole from what I was told. Amazingly enough those claims stopped around the time my spirits were lifted. I’m well aware that I should be better at controlling my emotions, but I’m not and there’s that.

I didn’t stop there – as I went up the hill, I decided to deliver more rocks. It must have been about bar closing time because people were walking around and getting rides to their cars. I pulled up at her work and shamelessly walked over to a curb that I felt might be noticed and set 2 rocks. one was an agate and one may have been a sodalite but that is a guess. It still wasn’t enough. I had to calm my desire for her attention before I could ever go home – so I decided that it was a romantic idea to go over to the back door that she tells me she uses. I set a necklace that I have had for a long time back in a little crack or sorts behind conduit and then I set one more purple rock near it to grab her attention.

I’d like to think that it was much more likely for her to see any of than than my black rocks on asphalt getting ran over by cars. …and that is my story as to where my mind goes when I see one of my snowflake obsidian polished rocks.

In unrelated news – last night as I was trying to say something incredibly intimate, I accidently included – and I fantasize about you often in not so many words. It was at least 3AM many hours later before that occurred to me. She has very much already replied to my confessions in the most positive way but that didn’t stop it from keeping me up for hours realizing just what all those words actually said.

That night my heart was still echoing Uninvited

When that song started playing the night that I was at the show – I had the most 90s moment that I don’t even think that most people will understand so I will explain it to myself as this entire site is just documentation.

Somewhere as the confusion set it, wondering why I had never heard these words before on one my absolute favorite albums of all time. In that moment, the sound clip from the start of Rufio’s Like A Virgin from Pop goes Punk played in my head.

Actual clip because that’s no help:

And well, if you don’t know Dogma, then you don’t know. But I watched her sign Uninvited with so many questions about life and in that second, I would have sworn that I had never heard it before – just because I did skip a few of the songs. Perfect was too slow and sad for me as a kid too – but Mary Jane was just fine.

But don’t you worry, it doesn’t take very many electrons to make this unstable isotopes do a 360.