Words

Opportunity Cost.

• by admin • In Words •   0

I had too much fun with this app that I downloaded.  This is one I did a week or two ago.  We are a mighty team and I sure hope that she takes care of my little league shirt, I would never even let anyone else wear it.  I bet she’s adorable.  Last night I sent her an email, saying that I would stop…

I have her thoughts and feelings in mind.  I don’t want to put her through more hell.  The other day was national coming out day.  I kept my lesbian comments to myself.  Sometimes I get to a point where I think that I am ruining all of these women’s lives.. because they could all just go live normal, happy lives with men if it weren’t for me.  I hate those feelings and thoughts.

It’s raining today and it’s taking me everything not to offer her a ride… or my car.  I just want to send her a text and tell her that if she wants to take me to work she can use my car.  I have never even done that before.   I am such a push over… and I don’t even care.

Opportunity Cost.  

 

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Not to be weird but…..

• by admin • In Dreams, Performance Art, Words •   0

Every time that I watch that lobster video, I feel like its so symbolic… I get pretty… disturbed watching the poor guy all close up and then his incinerated self.. I guess I have never had lobster. We’re talking about someone that has a hard time with chicken… but my point is.. I continue to watch it for the few glimpses of your hands and back. I don’t think anyone can write that without feeling odd, but I just want to hold your hand so badly.. and kiss your back softly.

It’s always worth it every time, so .. yeah.. i’d face my fears for you. and that’s a pretty big deal.

If She Only Knew..

• by admin • In Words •   0

…Well, actually, I am sure that she does.

My mind wanders, more than it probably should.  It always ends up in the same place and takes me to places that I could only dream of.  Her words echo in my ear.  I am reminded of a text message that I had received while eating Mexican food with my father.  My face blushed.. and I thought.. ‘She has no idea.’  It has been far too many years since I have been truely intimate with a woman.  I am a closed off person and I keep most all people at a distance.

Someone has changed that about me.. and I would give anything… to fall asleep next to her each night..  but those are words that got me in trouble, but.. what can I say, I can’t help it when my mind wanders.

thoughts

On my door step

• by admin • In Words •   0

As I was leaving my house after work, I looked down to see a perfectly white, quite recent, cigarette butt.  Since I know that most of my friends that come over don’t smoke cigarettes, and you can imagine I asked all 3 if it was their’s… no shame..

Well, of course I developed an elaborate story in my head, of the most romantic sort… I mean.. non romantic — unless she wants it to be.. Why is life so complicated?

Now I busy myself with cleaning up my car port.. just in case she stops by on the rarest of occasions.  I almost put an ashtray under it.. but realized how silly I can be.  Then I left some ash trey like dishes near by.

I find it odd to think about how I would stand in that very spot, put my arms around her and kiss her head.  Missing the smell of her hair and too many little things tonight.  Maybe it’s better that I don’t know who left it there.