Pop rock is rock music with a greater emphasis on professional songwriting and recording craft, and less emphasis on attitude. Originating in the 1950s as an alternative to rock and roll, early pop rock was influenced by the beat, arrangements, and style of rock and roll.
Have you been half asleep And have you heard voices I’ve heard them calling my name Is this the sweet sound that call’s the young sailors The voice might be one and the same I’ve heard it too many times to ignore it Its something that I’m supposed to be Someday we’ll find it The Rainbow Connection
Some nights, when I catch myself listening to Sarah McLachlan, I want to tell her that all of her songs aren’t heart-wrenching, but I might actually be wrong about that. They do pull at my heart strings.
I’ll tell her when we are cuddled up in bed and Better than Chocolate is ending, then I will know that I have found my moment.
When I see one of my snowflake obsidian rocks laying around, I think about how distraught I was just over 2 weeks ago. There I was, after a long day of helping a friend move. We had loaded a different friend’s truck full of trash that I was headed to go dump illegally at my old complex. My car had broken down the day before – so I knew that I better take advantage of my situation.
I stopped at my initials and saw the three rocks were still there, so I picked them up so they didn’t get left. One was a snow flake obsidian, one of a pyrite and I don’t remember the other one but it would have had some sort of protective property to make it into this mix. When I had set them there, I had known my time was running out.
When I turned left at the end of the street, I looked right and saw the Uhaul. I tried to distract myself as I approached my illegal activities. I pulled up to the dumpster, turned my lights out and started throwing trash bags into the dumpster. It filled up quicker than I thought. My friend met me there and unloaded her car as well and then we left back to go to my house – but I took a few detours. I knew that this may be my last chance with a vehicle for a while.
I didn’t have a plan but I had passion, I had fear, there was a sense of panic about me. As I approached the hill, I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out 2 of my largest snowflake obsidian rocks. I held them tightly and thought all of the important words. As I got close to her house, I slowed down. I had planned to throw them towards the Uhaul in hopes that she may see them the next day and think about me a little – I was hoping to provoke a smile on a day that I thought may be extremely difficult for her. When it was time, I shyly through the rocks barely past the road if even that – I was afraid of hitting anything once it came down to it – I wasn’t throwing rocks to cause damage, I was throwing rocks to make her smile.
I may never know if those 2 rocks made it into her drive way at all. I am sure that I will never bring it up but in all reality – that is something that I would do. It just crosses my mind – and I am so thankful that it was not much longer later before my faith in humanity was restored. I shouldn’t be so flakey on such a thing – in reality – I believed in the future the entire time but the world knows that I was sincerely scared and quite the asshole from what I was told. Amazingly enough those claims stopped around the time my spirits were lifted. I’m well aware that I should be better at controlling my emotions, but I’m not and there’s that.
I didn’t stop there – as I went up the hill, I decided to deliver more rocks. It must have been about bar closing time because people were walking around and getting rides to their cars. I pulled up at her work and shamelessly walked over to a curb that I felt might be noticed and set 2 rocks. one was an agate and one may have been a sodalite but that is a guess. It still wasn’t enough. I had to calm my desire for her attention before I could ever go home – so I decided that it was a romantic idea to go over to the back door that she tells me she uses. I set a necklace that I have had for a long time back in a little crack or sorts behind conduit and then I set one more purple rock near it to grab her attention.
I’d like to think that it was much more likely for her to see any of than than my black rocks on asphalt getting ran over by cars. …and that is my story as to where my mind goes when I see one of my snowflake obsidian polished rocks.
In unrelated news – last night as I was trying to say something incredibly intimate, I accidently included – and I fantasize about you often in not so many words. It was at least 3AM many hours later before that occurred to me. She has very much already replied to my confessions in the most positive way but that didn’t stop it from keeping me up for hours realizing just what all those words actually said.
That night my heart was still echoing Uninvited
When that song started playing the night that I was at the show – I had the most 90s moment that I don’t even think that most people will understand so I will explain it to myself as this entire site is just documentation.
Somewhere as the confusion set it, wondering why I had never heard these words before on one my absolute favorite albums of all time. In that moment, the sound clip from the start of Rufio’s Like A Virgin from Pop goes Punk played in my head.
Actual clip because that’s no help:
And well, if you don’t know Dogma, then you don’t know. But I watched her sign Uninvited with so many questions about life and in that second, I would have sworn that I had never heard it before – just because I did skip a few of the songs. Perfect was too slow and sad for me as a kid too – but Mary Jane was just fine.
But don’t you worry, it doesn’t take very many electrons to make this unstable isotopes do a 360.
• byadmin • InMusic, Pop, Pop Rock • Comments Off on I’ll be the one, if you want me to
There is this new polar bear commercial that uses this song, but less than 30 seconds of it. They are about to ruin this song just like they did the Sarah McLachlan song that no one will ever hear the same again.
They keep playing it on the local channels that I have and it leaves a feeling in the pit of my stomach that would be hard for me to explain to most. If you read the other posts with it in them – I should it would be a start.
It leaves me grateful of where I am in life and it reminds me of how offended I was when it came out. I scoffed at the song and took it as a challenge. Over 6 years ago, I knew – that I wasn’t going to give up on her but I did have moments that I was desperate to hear from her and this song carved scars in my bones. Tonight, she tells me that she wants to bathe in the universe with me and I feel complete. Then I suggested that I would climb through her window for her. I sure hope that she always finds my quirks endearing and that I never cross over any weird lines.
My heart was broken before this song ever came out, so when it did – I was already ‘vying for her touch.’ With every note of the piano, my heart breaks a little more. The first few years that I heard this song was more than painful. I would listen to Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball, Rihanna’s Stay. I was the toughest of lesbians. Passenger’s ‘Let Her Go’ frequented my playlist – but there was something about this song that brought me to a halt every single time.
I am so certain of the way that it made me feel, I know that if I were to look back on old posts, I would mention that I wouldn’t really give up on her – but maybe I should stop emailing her.. daily.
There were times that I convinced myself to stop. There were moments that I let my friends convince me that I was bothering her and completely wrong not to mention the epitome of assholes. There was extreme guilt involved coming from multiple directions – but she had a way of always letting me know that was not the case.
• byadmin • InMusic, Pop Rock, Rock • Comments Off on But I know I’ll do the right thing if the right thing is revealed
This morning, I woke up and up on Adele. I sung a few of my favorites as I for ready, “One and Only” being one of them. I lead to a text I sent, and somewhere in there the phrase in the title echoed somewhere deep inside. What I was able to articulate from what I was getting was not quite the same but somewhere after lunch it came to me. I could feel the tone of the song and I knew the emotion but I couldn’t place the actual words or even the song itself. Somewhere in the bank just before getting my third Dr. Pepper, it occurred to me, it was revealed not presented. Somehow I was able to piece together, ‘right thing is revealed’ and from there, goggle was able to tell me what I was thinking.
Staind – Epiphany (2001)
I saw Staind live with Marilyn Manson before the next song had even come out yet. It was on Halloween of 2003 in Dallas, TX. I drove all the way up to Davis, Oklahoma to pick up a friend and then we went back to Dallas (I lived a few hours south of Dallas) to go to the Smirnoff Music Center. I was not prepared for the traffic that I was about to run into that day and am lucky that I didn’t die in an awful car wreck. We missed Sevendust but made it in time to see Staind and then Marilyn Manson.
Staind – Right Here Waiting (2005)
One of my favorite Staid songs is actually a Metallica Cover, but I think it is worth throwing in here. I don’t remember which yeah I have been putting, so I will go with the year the song came out on the next one – not the year it was recorded.
This morning, I woke up from a dream – my whole body was tense and it felt like I had been having the dream for hours. I knew who it was about but I couldn’t place any details other than I was trying to get her to tell me something.
A few hours after I had been awake, some of the dream started to come back to me. My love and I were talking to my grandma and my grandma made jokes asking when I was going to get married so that I could have her a great-grand baby. My love chimed in and said, “Yeah, you better hurry up, you aren’t getting any younger.” She giggled a little and I didn’t respond right away but when we were alone, I asked her what she had said when we were with my grandma. She shied away and wouldn’t tell me what she had said but smiled and said that I knew what she had said.
That’s really all that I remember but I think it was so much more than that.
This is a new complicated emotion that I am feeling and I must say, it is interrupting my sleep – which I love. I am actually still struggling with what I am even feeling but there must be something about the holidays that makes me want her close.
I actually try my best not to think about it. Sometimes I think that it is completely stupid that I tell myself a pacifist would wait at a distance and keep a close eye – because, how can you not when you love someone and worry about them. Does she know that I hold my breath?
Time means nothing to me, but what I fear – is standing by silently – trusting I will know if something were really wrong – and what if I am wrong. She once told me that she wasn’t the kind of person that needed to be checked on. It must have been a pretty serious situation, because I never forgot those words – however, I have found myself growing increasingly protective as I fall deeper in love with her. As a friend took a jab at me over something I said, she laughed and pointed out how must her own kids has grown up since then. That’s a hard thing to dispute as I see it in my nieces all of the time, but I have learned to have comebacks. This time I just smiled and said, “Yeah well, it happens to be my longest relationship – so you better respect it.” She shrugged and agreed because she has been there from the beginning. I gave her shit for asking her questions that I refused to when we hard first met. It’s interesting to think about those moments. I was so shy and nervous. I am not sure that she even knew yet. Damn, I miss her so much. I hope that I don’t make it to February 20th without seeing her. I don’t know why dates stay with me for so long, but there is something about sitting with her and talking. As I left, I asked. “Will I get to see you again?” She said yes…
I Love You (2006)
Memories trapped in time
Possession (2006)
Through this world I’ve stumbled So many times betrayed Trying to find an honest word To find the truth enslaved Oh you speak to me in riddles and You speak to me in rhymes My body aches to breathe your breath Your words keep me alive
As it turns out, I might not be any less jealous.. just better at controlling it and ignoring it or at least distracting myself by overloading – everything.
I found myself appreciative of her candid response. I knew damn well that I was not going to be picking her up from anyway, but yet, I ask – why one may ask and remind me of the basic definition of insanity, but still I persist.
Tonight, as I am trying to fall asleep, I think to myself… ‘He better not be touching her.’ and I realize that.. that it must be the full moon right? There should be something out of my control for me to blame my absurd emotions on. Oh yes, I started.. I don’t want anyone touching my dream lady because my body is preparing itself to have her baby.. that must be it.
That probably doesn’t make it any better than anything else. I have been day dreaming way too much today. I had sent her an email just as I was leaving work. As I was driving home my mind wandered to the ever circling question – does she even read them? That lead to a smile when I thought about my oh so casual trip up the stairs as I was walking and texting that day last week or so.
I was at Madd’s house doing laundry and I had intended on seeing the kid but she was asleep when I got there so I was already a bit disappointed. At some point I started texting my favorite person and as I was walking up stairs to grab something I received a quite unexpected but more than welcomed text that left we with the instant, ‘Well.. I guess she reads my emails…’ How can she possibly stand me? I mean, even I get tired of me at this point. I’m like fuckin’ Screetch – actually I hope not but I do feel like Erkle at times. So anyway – life is like that and I wish that she was holding me tonight.
Sometimes I tell myself that she doesn’t hold it against me because she knows how I feel. Maybe not for a specific person and maybe not a literal translation – but I’ve had some outlandish expectations for quite sometime and then ms. practical magic comes waltzing into my life with one blue eye and eye green eye and cracks the code to my heart as if it was never even encrypted. Then I follow down the path of enlightenment without question or hesitation. I hope that she knows that I would follow her anywhere and I am even more thankful that she is more than delicate with me. The more time that passes and the more things that happen, the more I am convinced that it was all because she really cared – and I don’t even know what that means yeah but I try my hardest to trust in something more powerful than myself and that everything has happened for a reason. It’s hard to believe that there is only two and a half months left in this decade. I have big plans for the 20s and it’s actually to just – wait and see what happens.
