This is a list of rock music genres consisting of subgenres of popular music that have roots in 1940s’ and 1950s’ rock and roll, and which developed into a distinct identity as rock music in the 1960s, particularly in the United Kingdom and the United States.
Ten years ago yesterday, I started this website, as a place to write so that I would leave her alone. Tonight, we had the most amazing date that was so hard to walk away from. We stood there saying goodbye for at least 30 minutes and she gave me her favorite pop up book from her childhood and stole my heart all over again. She is really good at that. I am so beside myself with the greatest emotions.
This will need to be continued because I must meet her in dreamland.
This morning I woke up in a panic, wondering when that Tool concert was. I sent her a quick message, telling her to avoid Tool concerts because they were a trap and then I had to go to my computer to look up when they would actually be near and I couldn’t have surprised myself more – the show was tonight. So I proceeded to over think it all day and work myself up.
There is far too much to say about why I was absolutely crushed when I heard that Tool was going on tour. I never even looked up the dates so I have no idea how I was able to pinpoint it to the day but maybe it was just the way it felt. I am quite experienced with this pattern – I just hate it so much.
After driving around late at night, I heard a familiar song that took me back to a night in 2014 that felt so much more painful. I thought about how I convinced myself that there was no way that I would run into them in so many people. The moment I turned around from waiting for the tram with the people that I was with only to see them right there. I panicked then too and started walking back to the car, knowing they were following me the whole way. Those days are over and I just have to make sure they do not continue to repeat, I don’t think that either of us can take much more of this. I will fight for her in the softest ways I know how.
I still feel like Pretty Hate Machine is an old album and The Fragile is new.
It came in a flash
It came out of nowhere
It happened so fast
And then it was over
Are you thinking, what I’m thinking?
Is this happening now?
Are you feeling, what I’m feeling?
This is happening now
As I was returning from lunch yesterday, I glanced at my phone and saw a photo of herself that she had posted. Just seeing her picture made me extremely shy and smile. I put it away and continued to day dream about her. Many hours later, once home, I look at it again because I miss her so very much. I notice a fine detail and zoom in. Its a fine detail that I have caused a few emotional scenes over, so I think its something she would expect from me. My heart started racing and I had to look again – maybe a few times. Then I wrote her a quick excited message that I would later delete and then repeat a few times.
Things had felt weird in my heart but maybe it was because she was pushing through some heavy shit. My dream reminded me that I really need to watch my own excitement and consider her deepest feelings. I am working on centering my self, so that I can be the strongest person for her. I just hope that she is doing well deep in her heart, I worry so very much about that woman.
There’s that line in this song that takes me back to everything bagels and desperately listening. That laughter warms my heart more than I could describe. I’d do anything just to spend a little time with her.
Tonight has been hard and I feel I caused it with one bad decision and ridiculously terrible timing.
I should go listen to some Sarah McLachlan. There’s a woman that I can’t get off my mind. I just want to fight for her so badly.