Indie Rock

Indie rock is a genre of rock music that originated in the United States and United Kingdom in the 1970s. Originally used to describe independent record labels, the term became associated with the music they produced and was initially used interchangeably with alternative

When everything else disappeared

• by admin • In Alternative rock, Folk Rock, Glam Metal, Grammy Nominee, Hard Rock, Indie Rock, Industrial rock, Music, New Wave, Rock •   0
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The thing about keeping great records, digital ones at that, is that it is easy to cross reference them when needed.  Today marks 2 years since a difficult day in my life.  That day happens to be the day that I started this site, as a way to deal with the situation.  It looks like it was the next day or so that I was at work, ended up talking to someone that made me a little sad on the phone.. then my boss jumped down my throat and made me cry on a call.. That will be 2 years ago Monday.  In my opinion, I handled it very well.  That call was one call before my lunch, I remember it quite well.  The call after that is the one that I actually started to cry during, barely, but everything had just been building up.  I logged out when it was time to go to lunch, I walked right up to my boss and told her that I was going to the doctor and that I would be back the next day.

In the past, I had been on anxiety medicine, and at some time around when my middle niece was born, about 3 and a half years ago, I had stopped taking it.  With everything that had transpired and how much I was reacting to everything around me, I knew that it was something that I needed in my life.  In retrospect, this site serves as a record of my progress in the last 2 years.  Since then, I have been promoted at work.  I on my 8th training class and somehow I have gained the trust and understanding of the woman that I have fallen in love with.  I feel that way anyway.  It’s a huge deal to me because I tend to keep everyone in my life at a safe distance, but something tells me that she is different.. and I enjoy every minute of it.

When I was coming home from my friend’s house tonight, I drove by her old house for the first time since she had left.  I just kind of turned when I really didn’t have to.  My heart felt a little lighter when I saw his car in the drive way.  I’m uncertain why I can’t bring myself to just ask her a few things.  My imagination had been playing with combinations and statistical realities.. Most people that know me, know that I would wait 2 more years for her without thinking twice.. and hate it – I’m not sure why.  Those act like I am selling myself short and that no one should wait for anyone.. Then the other reactions that I get are more sincere in my eyes, I can’t tell you how much I like it when someone reacts the opposite and confirms that it’s incredibly romantic.  There’s a handful of close friends that know just how I feel.  They see my face when I talk to her.  My attempt to smile as she leaves.  It’s nice when someone actually understands you.  It seems to be so rare lately.

While stumbling around the YouTube.. I found this gem:

You’re so adventurous, I’m so very cautious

• by admin • In Folk, Folk Rock, Grammy Nominee, Heartland rock, Indie Folk, Indie Rock, Music, Neo-folk •   0

6d43953951009d57ba94751a7a07720fToday, we met at our normal halfway point. We walked for as long as we could and I tried by best not to think too much about hugging her goodbye.  As I passed my friend’s house, they returned home, so spent some time over there but that didn’t stop me from emailing her minutes after leaving her side confessing a few of my thoughts that I couldn’t express in person.

They started watching The Never Ending Story around midnight and since I knew that I had way too much thinking to do, I left and listed to my playlist on random.

This is what it thought that I should listen to:



…and that is currently how many songs it takes to walk from her house to mine..

I had a necklace in my pocket for her.. and I wanted to tell her that I loved her before she left, but I just couldn’t accept that this would be the last time that I would see her, so I couldn’t bring myself to act like it could be.

and I’ll look out the window..

• by admin • In Folk, Folk Rock, Indie Folk, Indie Rock, Music, Neo-folk •   Comments Off on and I’ll look out the window..

.. making jokes about the way things are

Can I be the first to say that I fall in love with her over and over again.  It’s been like this since the day that met her.  She wouldn’t want to know that I often refer to her as ‘the woman that I am in love with..’  The next few words is always, ‘Well, what’s the problem?”  That’s never fun to try to avoid.. time, life, people, love. you pick.  They usually laugh and ask if she has a boyfriend.  Sometimes I just say that I hope not.. I have a reputation of liking straight women.. if they only knew.. she just might love me too.

This is what YouTube did to me tonight:

I could see, you home with me

• by admin • In Alternative rock, Blue-Eyed Soul, Indie Rock, Rock •   0

There are a few songs that come on the radio that I just can not help but sing at full volume… usually with the windows down and somehow I feel like I always notice that I am driving past her street as I start to get into it… if she ever seems me.. it will be so embarrassing.. It’s not my fault that one of my best friends lives right down the road. She would probably just smile.

I’ve been called a hopeless romantic a lot in my life.. but I don’t think that it has ever felt this hopeless before.

While spending too much time looking at this computer today and listening to these songs.. I realized that this is my 105th post since I started writing on this site. It came after a day that she told me that we couldn’t talk anymore.. at all.. I’m just glad that that didn’t last forever. I would be her best friend over not knowing her any day..

As I read 9/11 stuff and was reminded of how important it is to tell people how you feel everyday – I have had a hard time not telling her that I love her. The closest that I have ever gotten was telling her that I deeply care about her. Besides this one email years ago when I told her that I knew that we were falling in love.. I say the dumbest shit sometimes, but I truly believe that she understands me and how I feel.