Man, it’s like someone doesn’t know how to play bass…
When she talks, I hear the revolution
Punk
Punk rock is a rock music genre that emerged in the mid-1970s in the United States, United Kingdom, and Australia. Rooted in 1960s garage rock and other forms of what is now known as “proto-punk” music, punk rock bands rejected perceived excesses of mainstream 1970s rock.
I thought I knew you…
Today, on my way to work, right before I arrived, Gwen Stefani graced my speakers with a long lost song – Sunday Morning. I jammed out as if I was still in 7th grade, though I was driving. The first 2 CDs that I ever owned were, No Doubt’s Tragic Kingdom and Jewel’s Pieces of You. If you remember anything about CDs or I guess any album, is that sometimes.. most of the songs suck, so I didn’t listen to the Jewel CD in full very many times, but Tragic Kingdom is one of my all time favorites.
The more that I listened to the words, the more that I knew that I had to post it here. Eventually I started questioning a few lyrics, like.. what the hell does, “You’re trying my shoes on for a change…” mean, but I got past it and was left with a few lingering thoughts that were luckily lost until now because of the hustle and bustle at work. The more the song plays past that line, I realize that it actually has nothing to do with how I feel but there are a few lines that leave me reflecting.
Gwen didn’t always get my feelings right but she sure does have a pretty voice and I could listen to these songs forever. As I was making this S curve near the rail road tracks, I thought.. what if I didn’t ask to see her that day, she wouldn’t have messaged me saying that she couldn’t see to talk to me anymore, again.
It’s been over 6 months and though I am lucky enough to have forgotten how long the longest has been in the past, but if anyone is concerned about her dedication and follow through, it was quite impressive and speaks loudly for her character. I may be paranoid, but I often worry,but that gets more complicated than I can articulate.
I left work early to go get the new plates for my vehicle. It’s probably time that I get to that.
I would listen to that album on repeat in 1996 on a Discman that my grandparents bought me. We were so cool and could skip songs if we wanted to. The sony headphones that came with it were awful. They were the type with the foam that I am quite sure are no longer in production.
Outta this mess..
..baby, outta my head
I did something stupid. It all started when I met this woman at the Ani Difranco concert, the I happened to get a bass guitar for Christmas from my brother. Very shortly there after she was looking for people in class where she teaches a group to learn 3 songs in 6 one hour sessions. Of course, I signed up for it without my though or research. Here are the 3 songs that I am supposed to know how to play, by memory in less that a week. If you’re wondering, no I don’t practice. I have decided that these songs are so bad to start with, I can completely mess up and no one will ever know.. I don’t like any of these songs.
If you ask me, they get progressively worse in the order that I have learned them. I am using the term, ‘learn’, very loosely here. These videos are actually really odd. The first one did not seem to have an official video to it so I chose a Buffy one for her. I want to do something like that with a song and TV show or movie one day.
And some nights I’m scared you’ll forget me again
A few nights ago, I had a dream that I haven’t told anyone about. It was almost like if I just didn’t talk about it. It would just go away. Somehow that approach to things never works as well as it sounds. There is a song that hear on the radio and each time I do.. i think about the dream. This is where I must add some explanation.
From what I can remember, my dream started like a pretty standard night for me. I was pulling up to my mailbox to check the mail on the way home. This night was unlike most, because it was much colder than normal. I was wearing a heavy leather jacket and I could feel the cold on my face as I leaned over my passenger side seat, which for me is more like climbing, and reached for the mail. As I stuck my hand towards the back of the mail box to reach something that had been pushed all the way back of my mail box, I glanced up to see someone looking at me as he walked by. My immediate reaction was to ask if he needed a ride, as it was someone I recognized.. and I did. It was not something that I gave a second thought or even had a chance to consider what the next few minutes could be like. He hesitantly accepted the offer.
I pulled up a little in front of my mail boxes and he got in my car and pointed in the direction that he was going. I nodded and turned the radio back up slightly. It felt like forever and I was burning up in my jacket. The drive felt pretty real as I acted as if I was following his directions.. but I knew exactly where he lived. I never said a word, tried my hardest to keep a straight face as I drove. Most of the time I used the cold and the exaggeration of how cold it was to mask my facial expressions. I wasn’t sure what he would see, but I knew that it would be something.
This was fresh on my mind today as I drove to the store to get dinner. The Sublime song came on again and I just drifted off into thinking about that dream, my thoughts and how I felt. My heart races, I was so nervous, and of what. There were moments when I thought that this is how people get murdered.. Then I realized that he probably had no clue at all. What surprised me the most – is that the emotions that I was trying so hard to hide were shame and guilt. What would have I said if I would have said something? As I pulled up to the store, I thought about a lot of things.
When I went inside… I could have sworn that I saw her. There in line – checking out. My heart stopped and I froze. I was never quite sure but I walked away… What would I say to her?
I have felt like crying for weeks. This isn’t helping any. In a few weeks I will be turning 31 and I have never felt older. My youngest brother would be turning 26 this year. He hasn’t even been gone but a few months and everything has started to fall apart. I often wonder what he would think if he could see us right now.. He would say.. ‘Damn, they really did care about me.’ It all has made me sick.
and for the song that wouldn’t stay out of my dreams and keeps taking me back to them…
In watching both videos, I am quite sure that I did not mention how the dream ended. I pulled up to her house, parked where I normally would and glanced at him as he thanked me. I was just trying my best at this point at hiding my feelings of despair, defeat and some things that I’m just not used to. I drove away, trying not to cry, as I had many times before.
Updated: Match 2018 -Image and tags