And all along I believed I would find you
Pop
Pop music is a genre of popular music that originated in its modern form in the United States and United Kingdom during the mid-1950s. The terms “popular music” and “pop music” are often used interchangeably, although the former describes all music that is popular and includes many diverse styles.
And I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you
I hate when this song is playing deep down inside. Tomorrow, I am having some dumb procedure and I am a bit nervous about it. People say it is nothing, but at this point, I am worried about what they could or could not find.
When I drive by her old house, there are tons of construction equipment parked in front. There’s something quite depressing about that.
I nearly cry every time I listen to this song. Since it came our in 2014 – it has always had the same effect on me, but right now it feels realer than it ever has before.
Then of course, YouTube brought these feelings back too. It knows what songs hurt best together.
I know it’s forward, but it’s true
Sometimes you’re just driving in your car and you wonder how this song found you.
And these foolish games are tearing me apart
For whatever reason, I hear this song nearly daily and think about her every time. I think back to the conversation when she told me that she may regret some decisions that she had made. I always read too far into anything that she said. I wanted to think that she regretted choosing C over me when faced when the situation so long ago – though I am sure that she didn’t think that I was a possibility.. seeing that she lived with him and I had no idea.. It’s weird to think about a lot of things like that.
My brother met her once, she came over and we hung out in my room. He had already had preconceived notions about her and it all changed when he met her. He would say things like, “She is just not into you… you’re just going to have to find a way to get over her.” and from time to time, before he knew her at all, just thought she was a stuck up bitch taking advantage of the fact that I was completely head over heels for her.. typical reaction from a brother, but when he met her… he said he really liked her ans she could see why I was always.. caught up in her. I guess he just saw our connection, which is not normal for a brother that could careless about what I do in that manner.
I always wondered what it would have been like to be able to meet her father. What would it have been like in an alternate universe?
And to express my ever changing mood, I will throw in one more random song that I feel like listening to:
This song was popular as my heart originally broke. I wouldn’t changing meeting her if I had the chance. I might change the way that I reacted.
I could leave but I won’t go
This morning, as I headed to work, I wondered if her number was still the same because I plan on texting her tomorrow. It’s an important day.
I wondered how she felt about my current situation. The interruption of the work day put that though to rest.
It reminded me that life is never what it seems.
Genesis “That’s All”
Disturbed “The Sound of Silence”
Youtube decided that I needed to listen to this song:
Phil Collins “In the Air Tonight”
Genesis “Land of Confusion”
Oh damn, never seen that color blue
My young, male boss cracks me up sometimes. He is inlove with Taylor Swift and plays her music on repeat at work, so I have accidentally let a few songs slip into my head. He is actually headed to the Taylor Swift concert, somewhere, tomorrow. Its for his birthday, so I am ‘in charge until Tuesday.
I have been having a pretty rough time lately, extreme stomach pain and such. I have appointments lined up through the end of the year so that doctors can tell me what’s wrong with me.
This song makes me think about one of the last serious conversations that we had over text. It seems like forever ago.
She said that she regrets decisions that she had made. I didn’t ask questions but I drew my own conclusions as to what she meant.
I don’t remember what I said that day, but I remember how nervous I was as I said them, and I knew better.
So every 80 songs or less.. I get reminded of that day but a lady that he calls T. Swizzy, completely joking but enough that he’s serious.
You stated your case time and again
Today, has been one of those days. A co-worker was out, so I was left juggling nearly 30 all center agents that all think they are the center of the universe. Really its probably only a quarter of them but it seems like a lot. I have been pissing people off left and right. After a long day of making my agents mad because they expect too much from me and getting yelled at and threaten by customers, I come home and have to deal with the two closest people telling me how much I don’t do for them. I offered to watch my sisters children during pride weekend and somehow ruined it and misunderstood when my brother wanted a ride to Subway so somehow I have ruined his night and he is going to starve. I didn’t respond appropriately, not that I even know what that would be. I cried some and then listened to the following songs. It started with a song that made me think about her the other day while I was in the grocery store. It reminded me of my blind and most likely stupid faith. The rest of the songs came on following it on YouTube. I would be lying if I said that it didn’t hurt when she said, “I don’t need you anymore and I don’t want you.” I suppose that would shock most anyone. Just give it time and I will find a way to fuck it up. I am pretty sure, I have always wished that someone thought about me when they heard this song..
For fun I decided to look up my horoscope today, because why not. I can’t feel like everyone hates me without blaming the universe or something, can I.
Since I am no longer a teenager, I was not sure where one would get a horoscope, so I just googled it and selected the Chicago’s news paper, because seems to be a legitment source:
Relations with others might be strained or aloof today. People are not sure which action to take or which direction to go. You probably feel the same way. Therefore, be ginger about whatever you do. Go gently. Avoid important decisions and avoid spending money on anything other than food or gas.
Time stands still
As we get uncomfortably close to one year since we have spoke..
I didn’t think the foreseeable future would be this long…
