She’s ferocious and she knows just what it takes to make a pro blush

It’s hard to tell if this is really the best pizza that I have ever had or if it’s just because she made it. When I called in my order, I spoke to a guy, and as I hung up, I wondered, “Will she notice my pizza?” I know that I am such a nerd. My heart may have melted a little when she told me that she thought she recognized that pizza. I am pretty predictable… Actually, I had been fighting the temptation since my last pizza, on my birthday which was over a month ago – so I would say that I am doing well.

When I got in the car to go home, this song echoed through my heart.

I can’t say that I knew who Bette Davis was. Actually, I was thinking about Betty Page but none the less.. I liked it. I couldn’t have asked for a better lunch break, and she even said something that assured me that she does read my emails, even if she doesn’t reply. Oh, I love that about her..

I never meant to start a war

Skipping work to sleep all day sounds extremely expensive at this point in time. It’s complicated corporate bullshit since tomorrow is.. was a paid holiday. Whatever, health is important and I never miss work. The playlist that has worked itself into my day is quite repetitive.

The first time that I heard this song, I thought about her and it hit pretty hard. Back then – things were much different. I understood a lot less but still felt.. something was happening.

I had searched my last name and Slovania trying to get that former president’s name. It was when I was adding my dad and little brother on skype. Then I was curious enough to search my last name to see what other family members had skype accounts. I was suddenly reminded that the internet is not only nation wide and suddenly my name looked pretty normal next to theirs. I forgot what that lady’s name was so I searched that and found a hilarious parody of “Wrecking Ball.”

From there it was all down hill. My friend was here. She put up with me listening to this song next. We were discussing how we felt about these young ladies getting so naked so casually in music videos. Don’t get me wrong, I am as guilty as every other American enjoying these videos.. but I hate that I do. Out of curiosity, I had to research when that was and sources say August 2013, which was a confusing time for this lady. I’m adaptable. Now I expect it..

The youtube must have sensed my mood because after I listened to that song tonight, this popped up.

It was like it was reading my mind. Damn computer – quit reminding me how predictable I am. At least I have dealt with situations better this time. I don’t think that I have ever been able to consider anyone else’s feelings before. I am always reminded of simple text messages that put me back in my place. I never wanted to hurt her, at all.

In other news, I told my friend that I was over here about my brother’s snake bite situation 11 years ago. She teared up and felt it was Oprah worthy. I’d rather believe that anyone would help a family member the same. I wasn’t really the one helping but more of my grandmother. It was a bad day.. or while I guess you would say.

You said that you could let it go

Oh tonight is rough and this song has always gotten to me pretty well.

Despite everything falling to pieces around me as I tried to solve the puzzle.. she makes me feel incredibly special. The verse by Kimbra really affects me deeply because.. I wasn’t the best girlfriend with T. I had a lot of anxiety problems and freaked out often at things like her staying out late with guys. Maybe if she actually listened to me like M listens to him, I wouldn’t be single at this time.

It hurts because I blame myself for that. For most things really. Now I just want to calm the hell down so that I can hang out with my favorite people without making their boyfriends mad or sad or whatever boyfriends do. I don’t know much about those things.

Not Really Sure How I Feel About It

Some days seem harder than others.  I can never tell if its because of the silence.. what I put in my lungs that day.. the alignment of the stars… our ever lasting energy.. have I mentioned brain chemicals?

This post is a little different than most.  I’m not sure if I have posted this song yet, but I have been listening to it and even singing it out loud for more than a year now.  The other night my friend said it was about them being on meth or something… I just thought it meant she wanted him to stay the night… I hear what I want to in songs.  It’s been an ongoing theme in our relationship, where for the first time, I have hyper feminine feelings and she is the ultimate dude that doesn’t care.. What can I say, I cherish the two nights that I spent with her and with the next morning lasted a little long…

On to the music – the original version:

 

 

And now, the same song, remade by some people that I find quite impressive. This is the version that I used to listen to on spotify when I used to do that. I used to have play lists each month…. going back to those, they are kind of sad at times.

https://youtu.be/AR_zYrEpXz4

I hear something in ever line of this song…

Sometimes love don’t feel like it should

Today, I faced my fears.. and gave her the card that was burning a hole in my pocket. She was perfectly sweet to me, just as I expected. My new computer watch was even noticed, I’d hate to tell her I have no idea how to use the thing. I hope it brightens her day and fills her heart with warmth. She looked a little sad, but I would never try to hold a whole conversation with someone at work. I kept it professional and then left.

This was the first song that I took note of on the radio this morning. I think that there was one on when I got in the car but it must not have been very impactful.

This morning before work, this image game me some hope, inspiration and all those important things.  It really made me think about security and the deepest of feelings for someone.  I never let society define me… or my love.

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I dare you to let me be your, your one and only

I painted a birthday card for her, or more like I painted on one.. it couldn’t be more perfect, if you ask me. Which leads to the next perfect thing:

and then my phone played this next:

On that note, I have never seen the notebook but I have heard that it is an incredibly romantic movie. Some people say I am a bit romantic.. though, I always wonder what she actually thinks about it all. It’s all – a little – irregular….