Pop
Pop music is a genre of popular music that originated in its modern form in the United States and United Kingdom during the mid-1950s. The terms “popular music” and “pop music” are often used interchangeably, although the former describes all music that is popular and includes many diverse styles.
So you wanna play with magic
Somehow I thought this was a newer song when I hear it recently. Maybe it’s because I don’t listen to music like this, but this is an interesting video. I sent her an email last night after I talked to my grandma on the phone and she told me that she thought she was dying. She wasn’t exaggerating and it scared me more than I could imagine. That perspective was reopened and I forgot about my romantic… (non) interest and remembered about true love. Suddenly, I am just concerned about my grandma. My New Years resolution if not to email her in 2015.. until she contacts me. It will be hard and I will miss her, but what’s really important here?
a great friend showed me this. it almost made my day.
It’s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
Last night, I sent an email that stepped a little bit across those boundaries that I have been trying so hard to determine. I knew it, I even said it in my letter. I felt like I was going to regret it and even woke up the next morning feeling like I should regret it, but guess what, she replied.
I also woke up thinking about my ex, the previous one, I don’t really consider M my ex, because we never had a fair chance.. but anyway, T had some calendar thing last night, she’s basically a model and singer, and I woke up thinking about something that happened weekends ago involving seeing the guy that she left me for for the first time since it happened, over 6 years ago. I told her what happened and how well I handled it, and then I closed facebook and never waited to see her response. That’s tough. I’ll check it later after I am loaded with anxiety medicine and such.
When I heard “What It Takes” and it reminded me about how it used to remind me about T. It did make me think about M when I heard it yesterday but I know that I am just a confused mess. If T had not gotten married to someone that I trusted and respected, because I knew that she did.. I don’t know if I would have ever gotten over it all.
But what do I know, I was probably still a bit confused about T until I met M.. she was the only person that could ever put everything in the past through a different perspective. No one could imagine how immature I used to me. If I told anyone about some weird things that happened with a close guy friend recently, everyone’s jaw would drop.. I didn’t know what to do or how to handle it and I haven’t told a soul about it yet. I started to last night but I have to softly edit it because I couldn’t even speak the words. These two ladies are magical and I know and can not even thank them enough for all that they do for me. I take a little more effort than most, but once in a while, people realize that I am worth it.
The internet has convinced me that I have aspergers but I am almost too afraid to find out, and if I do, I know it is subtle, I have made so much progress in my life and I don’t think most people know the half of it. Now that I think about it, I don’t think that there is one person besides myself that knows most of it at all. Many people know about separate difficulties but each person knows about different thinks. I wouldn’t tell anyone about the domestic violence that I have lived with my whole life, but some people know. I know think my dad knows not to talk about it, or maybe I am the wrong one, feeling like I should keep it a secret. T and M.. both know, at least the present and somewhat present stuff. I try not to talk about when I was little, people get this look on their face and that’s not what I am going for.
She’s ferocious and she knows just what it takes to make a pro blush
It’s hard to tell if this is really the best pizza that I have ever had or if it’s just because she made it. When I called in my order, I spoke to a guy, and as I hung up, I wondered, “Will she notice my pizza?” I know that I am such a nerd. My heart may have melted a little when she told me that she thought she recognized that pizza. I am pretty predictable… Actually, I had been fighting the temptation since my last pizza, on my birthday which was over a month ago – so I would say that I am doing well.
When I got in the car to go home, this song echoed through my heart.
I can’t say that I knew who Bette Davis was. Actually, I was thinking about Betty Page but none the less.. I liked it. I couldn’t have asked for a better lunch break, and she even said something that assured me that she does read my emails, even if she doesn’t reply. Oh, I love that about her..
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
You know that moment when you think, “Damn, I am fuckin gay….” I just had one of those.
I never meant to start a war
Skipping work to sleep all day sounds extremely expensive at this point in time. It’s complicated corporate bullshit since tomorrow is.. was a paid holiday. Whatever, health is important and I never miss work. The playlist that has worked itself into my day is quite repetitive.
The first time that I heard this song, I thought about her and it hit pretty hard. Back then – things were much different. I understood a lot less but still felt.. something was happening.
I had searched my last name and Slovania trying to get that former president’s name. It was when I was adding my dad and little brother on skype. Then I was curious enough to search my last name to see what other family members had skype accounts. I was suddenly reminded that the internet is not only nation wide and suddenly my name looked pretty normal next to theirs. I forgot what that lady’s name was so I searched that and found a hilarious parody of “Wrecking Ball.”
From there it was all down hill. My friend was here. She put up with me listening to this song next. We were discussing how we felt about these young ladies getting so naked so casually in music videos. Don’t get me wrong, I am as guilty as every other American enjoying these videos.. but I hate that I do. Out of curiosity, I had to research when that was and sources say August 2013, which was a confusing time for this lady. I’m adaptable. Now I expect it..
The youtube must have sensed my mood because after I listened to that song tonight, this popped up.
It was like it was reading my mind. Damn computer – quit reminding me how predictable I am. At least I have dealt with situations better this time. I don’t think that I have ever been able to consider anyone else’s feelings before. I am always reminded of simple text messages that put me back in my place. I never wanted to hurt her, at all.
In other news, I told my friend that I was over here about my brother’s snake bite situation 11 years ago. She teared up and felt it was Oprah worthy. I’d rather believe that anyone would help a family member the same. I wasn’t really the one helping but more of my grandmother. It was a bad day.. or while I guess you would say.
You said that you could let it go
Oh tonight is rough and this song has always gotten to me pretty well.
Despite everything falling to pieces around me as I tried to solve the puzzle.. she makes me feel incredibly special. The verse by Kimbra really affects me deeply because.. I wasn’t the best girlfriend with T. I had a lot of anxiety problems and freaked out often at things like her staying out late with guys. Maybe if she actually listened to me like M listens to him, I wouldn’t be single at this time.
It hurts because I blame myself for that. For most things really. Now I just want to calm the hell down so that I can hang out with my favorite people without making their boyfriends mad or sad or whatever boyfriends do. I don’t know much about those things.
Not Really Sure How I Feel About It
Some days seem harder than others. I can never tell if its because of the silence.. what I put in my lungs that day.. the alignment of the stars… our ever lasting energy.. have I mentioned brain chemicals?
This post is a little different than most. I’m not sure if I have posted this song yet, but I have been listening to it and even singing it out loud for more than a year now. The other night my friend said it was about them being on meth or something… I just thought it meant she wanted him to stay the night… I hear what I want to in songs. It’s been an ongoing theme in our relationship, where for the first time, I have hyper feminine feelings and she is the ultimate dude that doesn’t care.. What can I say, I cherish the two nights that I spent with her and with the next morning lasted a little long…
On to the music – the original version:
And now, the same song, remade by some people that I find quite impressive. This is the version that I used to listen to on spotify when I used to do that. I used to have play lists each month…. going back to those, they are kind of sad at times.
I hear something in ever line of this song…