Got to be true to myself

It’s been a while since I have posted anything. Tonight on the drive up to Austin, I heard this song and it took me back to the day that it has always reminded me about:

I wondered more than ever, what the words even meant. As I thought more and more about that day that she left me standing by my car as she left.. Then I thought.. “yeah and then I went all Melissa Etheridge on her.” It’s not something that I am specifically proud of, but I won’t deny it all the same. I started flipping through the radio stations when I ended up on one playing this song. I didn’t even have to change the station more than a few times.

The reason that I was in Austin, was for a concert. I saw Dashboard Confessional and 3rd Eye Blind. It was a good show. There was something missing and I was pretty sure that it was her.

Then on the way home, this song came on and I sang it until I lost my voice..

Tell me why it took thinking about her when I heard this song to make me realize that I may be a bit emotional today. I know that she is and I want to — make her smile.

It’s about that time.. when my dog wants me to come to bed.

And did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day?

Today is my grandmother’s 83rd birthday, so I took off of work. This whole situation with K helps me put things with M into perspective somehow. Yesterday, I decided that I am not really frustrated with the individuates involved but its more about the larger problem. Now I am battling social and feminist issues. I have always tried to keep my personal beliefs out of it, but it seems that you can not separate such things.

So you wanna play with magic

Somehow I thought this was a newer song when I hear it recently. Maybe it’s because I don’t listen to music like this, but this is an interesting video. I sent her an email last night after I talked to my grandma on the phone and she told me that she thought she was dying. She wasn’t exaggerating and it scared me more than I could imagine. That perspective was reopened and I forgot about my romantic… (non) interest and remembered about true love. Suddenly, I am just concerned about my grandma. My New Years resolution if not to email her in 2015.. until she contacts me. It will be hard and I will miss her, but what’s really important here?

a great friend showed me this. it almost made my day.