R&B

Won’t you please come around

• by She Says • In Grammy Nominee, Pop, R&B •   Comments Off on Won’t you please come around

‘Cause I wanna share forever with you, baby

Its been a year since grandma had her first TIA, mini stroke. She can’t walk anymore or even stand up on her own to get in the wheel chair, I helped with her on Tuesday while my aunt was on vacation and I just kept breaking down into tears the whole time. I had been having trouble eating for a few days so I was really weak and could barely lift her with my other aunt. I just couldn’t believe how much changed in a year.

Tonight, my brother and I rode in the old bus in a Christmas parade with our dad. We weren’t super into it but we really wanted to spend time with him while we still have the change to. It has all been so eye opening to how fragile life is and has left me in a state of anxiety that I can’t even explain. I lost my friend suddenly to heart failure on October 22 and then they put grandma on hospice on October 25. She is still alive and they do not say she is dying but I can’t understand why she can’t talk anymore or even really move her arms and legs. I guess that’s what strokes do but it has been so very hard, I cry every day.

My former brother in law and neices’ father tragically took his life on Nov 16 and I have not really been able to come to terms with that one year.

That leaves me with the last concern that I am afraid to even write about. It had been months and then finally I had heard something promising and then nothing. If I wasn’t close enough to check on her nearly daily, I would be struggling even more. I hope that it doesn’t bother her that I just need to see her car continue to move and on my hardest days I make sure I am even more accurate than that. So I will just keep dreaming as hard as I can and sending my unwaivering support over the breeze.

I have been struggling so terribly emotionally but she did send me a picture the day after she said something to me and it has been helping me push though, oh how I love when she sends me pictures.

If I could make you stop and take a look at me

• by She Says • In Movies, R&B •   Comments Off on If I could make you stop and take a look at me

The last few months have been extremely difficult. This movie came up in conversation and of course, I needed something to do with all these emotions.

I spent the evening helping my oldest aunt take care of my grandmother. It was exremely difficult and I kept breaking down in tears. I was supposed to stay the night but had so much anxiety about it, I made myself sick.

Have you ever tried to find the words but they don’t come out right?

• by She Says • In Pop, R&B, Soul music •   Comments Off on Have you ever tried to find the words but they don’t come out right?

Today has been really difficult to hold it together. Last Tuesday was an emotional roller coaster and I still don’t know what’s going on, but I have a good idea.

The flame extinguisher is at it again and its far more serious than I can express here.

Then this song came on the radio when I was coming home from Jeremy’s house. I enjoyed it too much and then laughed at the thought – in 1998, this is certainly what I was listening to and I have some very nice archived tapes to prove it.

Around 1998, I was in middle school – enjoying cable TV in my own bedroom. Within a few years, I would be tying up the home telephone line for hours downloading these songs on Napster. That may have come a few years later.