Grammy Nominee

The Grammy Nominees is a series of various artists compilation albums celebrating the best of the music industry. Albums are released before the airing of the annual Grammy Awards. All of the songs on the albums are Grammy nominated in the year released.

And some nights I’m scared you’ll forget me again

• by admin • In Grammy Nominee, Music, Pop Rock, Punk Rock, Rock •   0

A few nights ago, I had a dream that I haven’t told anyone about. It was almost like if I just didn’t talk about it. It would just go away. Somehow that approach to things never works as well as it sounds. There is a song that hear on the radio and each time I do.. i think about the dream. This is where I must add some explanation.

From what I can remember, my dream started like a pretty standard night for me. I was pulling up to my mailbox to check the mail on the way home. This night was unlike most, because it was much colder than normal. I was wearing a heavy leather jacket and I could feel the cold on my face as I leaned over my passenger side seat, which for me is more like climbing, and reached for the mail. As I stuck my hand towards the back of the mail box to reach something that had been pushed all the way back of my mail box, I glanced up to see someone looking at me as he walked by. My immediate reaction was to ask if he needed a ride, as it was someone I recognized.. and I did. It was not something that I gave a second thought or even had a chance to consider what the next few minutes could be like. He hesitantly accepted the offer.

I pulled up a little in front of my mail boxes and he got in my car and pointed in the direction that he was going. I nodded and turned the radio back up slightly. It felt like forever and I was burning up in my jacket. The drive felt pretty real as I acted as if I was following his directions.. but I knew exactly where he lived. I never said a word, tried my hardest to keep a straight face as I drove. Most of the time I used the cold and the exaggeration of how cold it was to mask my facial expressions. I wasn’t sure what he would see, but I knew that it would be something.

This was fresh on my mind today as I drove to the store to get dinner. The Sublime song came on again and I just drifted off into thinking about that dream, my thoughts and how I felt. My heart races, I was so nervous, and of what. There were moments when I thought that this is how people get murdered.. Then I realized that he probably had no clue at all. What surprised me the most – is that the emotions that I was trying so hard to hide were shame and guilt. What would have I said if I would have said something? As I pulled up to the store, I thought about a lot of things.

When I went inside… I could have sworn that I saw her. There in line – checking out. My heart stopped and I froze. I was never quite sure but I walked away… What would I say to her?

I have felt like crying for weeks. This isn’t helping any. In a few weeks I will be turning 31 and I have never felt older. My youngest brother would be turning 26 this year. He hasn’t even been gone but a few months and everything has started to fall apart. I often wonder what he would think if he could see us right now.. He would say.. ‘Damn, they really did care about me.’ It all has made me sick.

and for the song that wouldn’t stay out of my dreams and keeps taking me back to them…

In watching both videos, I am quite sure that I did not mention how the dream ended. I pulled up to her house, parked where I normally would and glanced at him as he thanked me. I was just trying my best at this point at hiding my feelings of despair, defeat and some things that I’m just not used to. I drove away, trying not to cry, as I had many times before.

Updated: Match 2018 -Image and tags

I’m Not The Kind Of Girl You’d Bring Home

• by admin • In Alternative rock, Blue-Eyed Soul, Country, Folk, Folk Rock, Grammy Nominee, Pop •   0

Today, as I drove home from work on my lunch break, the radio took me back… the first song is one that I have always loved… Here’s a little Sheryl Crow.

If I thought that I was going to escape that thought process quickly.. I was wrong. I may have woken up thinking about her… but it wasn’t going to end there. The next song that came on was a song that I started dreading about a year ago, when I actually had heard the words. I feel like it was about this time last year. I know that I was headed to get my hair cut and I even remember where I parked on the square to allow the song to finish before I turned off my car to get out… now I hear the words intensely, as if someone was speaking to me.. or more like.. her. It’s a good way to make me feel inadequate quickly. I am sure that it has nothing to do with what she meant the song to be about.. but it sounds quite clear to me.

Honestly, it hurts a little, every time that I hear the song..

You would think that I would stop listening to it. As I listen to it too many times and watch the words play above.. makes me realize – that we are all 3 so similar in personality, that it seems caddy but its really just this whole ball of tension that I will never be able to understand or explain. This song gets to me about as much as the Gotye song. and the last line. the last line always makes my stomach sink and picture what my own custom video would like look in that song. he would be singing the entire song. im not even phased that its a female singer – someone. i always see her face at the end, saying that all miley cirus wrecking ball style.. i should go watch that and cry.. i am so much more emotional that most people know. i feel like we all struggle with sexuality and gender in some way. i never really thought that about him but i know that growing up he was smaller than most of the guys and he’s not that tall now.. i dont know how being a guy works.. i avoid them most of the time. life has beome so complicated that i dont even know anymore. i just see patterns and try to come up with a reason. there is no reason or solution, just continue to do what youre supposed to be doing and everything will work out. it may be the biggest lie that i have ever told myself, but only time can tell.

I’m not getting jealous don’t I like lookin’ like a clown

• by admin • In Grammy Nominee, Music, Rock •   Comments Off on I’m not getting jealous don’t I like lookin’ like a clown

Thanks to public records and my curious mind, I knew exactly who had a birthday yesterday. Turns out, I’m 10 months older and 5 inches shorter… She cancelled on me twice in a row, I should probably just be used to it by now.

first a friend was coming down to hang out with her, I didn’t take that well. then she had to make ‘her friend’ a birthday cake.. yesterday. I will just keep hoping that he is really just her friend and move on. Maybe I will see her soon.. maybe I won’t. It’s nearly been a month.. but whose counting.

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Not Really Sure How I Feel About It

• by admin • In Cover Song, Grammy Nominee, Music, Pop •   0

Some days seem harder than others.  I can never tell if its because of the silence.. what I put in my lungs that day.. the alignment of the stars… our ever lasting energy.. have I mentioned brain chemicals?

This post is a little different than most.  I’m not sure if I have posted this song yet, but I have been listening to it and even singing it out loud for more than a year now.  The other night my friend said it was about them being on meth or something… I just thought it meant she wanted him to stay the night… I hear what I want to in songs.  It’s been an ongoing theme in our relationship, where for the first time, I have hyper feminine feelings and she is the ultimate dude that doesn’t care.. What can I say, I cherish the two nights that I spent with her and with the next morning lasted a little long…

On to the music – the original version:

 

 

And now, the same song, remade by some people that I find quite impressive. This is the version that I used to listen to on spotify when I used to do that. I used to have play lists each month…. going back to those, they are kind of sad at times.

https://youtu.be/AR_zYrEpXz4

I hear something in ever line of this song…