Grammy Nominee

The Grammy Nominees is a series of various artists compilation albums celebrating the best of the music industry. Albums are released before the airing of the annual Grammy Awards. All of the songs on the albums are Grammy nominated in the year released.

Won’t you please come around

• by She Says • In Grammy Nominee, Pop, R&B •   Comments Off on Won’t you please come around

‘Cause I wanna share forever with you, baby

Its been a year since grandma had her first TIA, mini stroke. She can’t walk anymore or even stand up on her own to get in the wheel chair, I helped with her on Tuesday while my aunt was on vacation and I just kept breaking down into tears the whole time. I had been having trouble eating for a few days so I was really weak and could barely lift her with my other aunt. I just couldn’t believe how much changed in a year.

Tonight, my brother and I rode in the old bus in a Christmas parade with our dad. We weren’t super into it but we really wanted to spend time with him while we still have the change to. It has all been so eye opening to how fragile life is and has left me in a state of anxiety that I can’t even explain. I lost my friend suddenly to heart failure on October 22 and then they put grandma on hospice on October 25. She is still alive and they do not say she is dying but I can’t understand why she can’t talk anymore or even really move her arms and legs. I guess that’s what strokes do but it has been so very hard, I cry every day.

My former brother in law and neices’ father tragically took his life on Nov 16 and I have not really been able to come to terms with that one year.

That leaves me with the last concern that I am afraid to even write about. It had been months and then finally I had heard something promising and then nothing. If I wasn’t close enough to check on her nearly daily, I would be struggling even more. I hope that it doesn’t bother her that I just need to see her car continue to move and on my hardest days I make sure I am even more accurate than that. So I will just keep dreaming as hard as I can and sending my unwaivering support over the breeze.

I have been struggling so terribly emotionally but she did send me a picture the day after she said something to me and it has been helping me push though, oh how I love when she sends me pictures.

And I would be the last to know

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This song is off of one of my favorite albums, though I have never heard it before. Likely it wasn’t on my burned copy. Like with many songs, I don’t completely know what it means, but I know what I hear.

The album I listened to was from 2002, it looks like this was added to a later album from the same live show.

She would know what I mean if I told her that I was having a very Sarah McLachlan kinda day.

But I Can’t Find My Shoes

• by She Says • In Dreams, Grammy Nominee •   Comments Off on But I Can’t Find My Shoes

I restarted going to the gym which means my whole body is sore. It was hard to sleep and I was tossing and turning. At some point I was able to dream:

I can’t say that I remember a whole lot. It seemed to be the same house that I always try to ride my bike past in my dreams. It feels very real in the moment but when I think about it right now, that house never existed and that path never existed so it must be the house that I check in my dreams, often.

The house is a two story house that is on a curve. The neighborhood resembles the one that I grew up in high school. I drive down the road to the pool and take a left and travel up hill slightly and curve to the left. The house in on the right down a long caliche driveway.

In this dream, I didn’t see most of that and there were additional features.

We were upstairs in her room, which it did not seem was shared with anyone. My brother and I were there and everything was normal. At some point the tone changed drastically and she told me that I should really go. It took me a moment to understand what was going on and then I could tell by her tone that she really needed me to leave. As if we were talking about someone that broke into the house, she says that she can hear him making food in the kitchen. I started to scramble to find my shoes but they were no where in sight. I checked two upstairs bathrooms and all other the bedroom but could not find my shoes. I was looking for my white reeboks with red on them, the shoes that I has actually been wearing that day in my waking life.

It was clear that she wasn’t coming with me and my brother had already walked out and was nearly to the car at this point. I went out a back door and down narrow wooden stairs. I walked barefoot across a large yard with dry yellow grass. I did not hurry and looked back at the house as I left waiting to see anything. I did not.

The cars were parked in this makeshift cinder bock tiny parking garage that fit about 5 cars. As we were leaving, an older brownish SUV backed out so aggressively, it ran over the car next to it monster truck style. In that moment, I thought they were coming for us but just drove away. We left as if nothing happened.

When I woke up, my body was stiff and well worse than it was before.

from: https://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/s2.htm

To dream that you are not wearing any shoes indicates that you have low self-esteem and a lack of confidence in yourself. You are dealing with issues about your self-identity. It also represents poverty, lack of mobility, or misunderstanding. Alternatively, to dream that you are not wearing shoes represent your playful attitudes and relaxed, carefree frame of mind. You have a firm grasp and good understanding on a situation. If you dream that you lose your shoes, then it suggests that you are searching for your identity and finding yourself.

So it’s not hard to fall when you float like a cannon

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My heart is racing and I don’t even know what to do with myself. There are two sides of my emotions and both of them are beaming but by the way I am just trying to stay calm really shows me how far I have come. It’s an energy that makes me want to run around in circles. Though the realist in me stops any celebrations until I knoiw that she is free.

After a long walk in the woods, I couldn’t be smiling more and I hardly even questioned if I failed once again because she has a way of telling me that I haven’t – though, there is a deep level of regret that I didn’t trust how I felt and wrote it off so many times before.

I don’t feel comfortable writing any meaningful words on here so I will add a handful of songs and then I’ll go and find some secure way to write down cherished memories.

In February 2022, days before the Russian and Ukrain war broke out, I hear Chris Cornell’s version of Nothing Compares to You. At the time I saw it called a Prince cover. Before that day, I did not realize that Sinéad O’Connor’s version was a cover. Now that all of the above have passed, I am going to see how Pink sounds covering it. Clearly all the lines are not applicable but I sure do enjoy a few of them. I cut and paste my pop songs the way that I like the best.

Driving away was so very hard today. I trust in the future completely and I get less afraid personally every day – globally, I can not say the same.

A touching performance after he just was told live in his concert.

Won’t you please come around 

• by She Says • In Grammy Nominee, Hip Hop •   Comments Off on Won’t you please come around 

Today, I heard this classic on the 90’s on 9 and it was just what I needed. Not my typical genre of choice but it was for the last few years of that decade. Middle school dances were will with R&B.

It reminded me of the time that I was sitting at the light by Palmer’s (was heading West for record purposes) and The Cardigan’s Lovefool came on. You can bet I raced to message her and tell her all about it.

Oh, into the sea of waking dreams

• by She Says • In Dreams, Grammy Nominee, Music, Pop •   Comments Off on Oh, into the sea of waking dreams

I follow without pride
Because nothing stands between us here

Dream Notes

  • ipad left at my house, opened to gmail
  • top email was unread message from her sister, I knew that I could not read it
  • made sure not to read other subjects in email
  • subject to sister’s email was something like it’s meeeeeee
  • she had a piano recital the next day
  • tubing the river on one large tube balancing each other
  • old fridge
  • hookah on top of fridge
  • discussion with person in house if I was staying as we left saying I wouldn’t want to sleep downstairs
  • house was old, many rooms, white, co-op style
  • somewhere near waco
  • came by my house before leaving
  • had to call him before we left on video call, he didn’t answer which made her nervous
  • she said something important right before I woke up
  • stared into each others eyes communicating without words

In my dream, at one point we were tubing down the river on one tube. you were sitting up on the side somehow and I was hanging on to the edge as we were talking. I only remember one thing that was said but it was pretty specific.

Hookah

To see or smoke a hookah in your dream represents ease and relaxation. Alternatively, it refers to the difficulties your are facing in your waking life. You may be bottling up your emotions.

IPad

To see an iPad in your dream represents modern life and your connections with others. It also suggests that you want to put something on display. Consider the significance of what you are doing on the iPad and how that parallels an aspect of your waking life. Alternatively, seeing an iPad in your dream may be a pun on “your home” or “your place”.

River

To see a clear and calm river in your dream indicates that you are just going with the flow. You are allowing your life to float away. It is time to take a more decisive role in directing your life. Alternatively, a river symbolizes joyful pleasures, peace, prosperity and fertility. It is also reflective of a new stage in your life. If the river is muddy, then it indicates that you are in turmoil.

Alternatively, this dream means you are ready to confront life’s challenges and life’s twists and turns.

Tubing

To dream that you are tubing suggests that you are on experiencing emotional ups and downs.

Refrigerator

To see or open a refrigerator in your dream represents your chilling personality and/or cold emotions. The dream may also be telling you that you need to put some goal, plan, or situation on hold. Alternatively, a refrigerator signifies that you have accomplished what you have been subconsciously seeking.

To dream that the refrigerator has broken down suggests that you need to warm up to somebody or some situation. It is time to let go of those harsh, cold feelings.

If you dream of a very full refrigerator, then it symbolizes your untapped resources.

Piano

To dream that you are playing a piano indicates a quest for harmony in your life. Consider where the piano is placed as a clue as to what aspect of your life needs accordance. If no sound is coming out of the piano, then it implies a lack of confidence. You are not sure about how to express yourself and how to voice your beliefs.

To dream that you hear the sound of a piano suggests harmony in your life. You are pleased with the way your life is going.

To dream that the piano needs to be tuned indicates some aspect of your life is in discord. You need to devote more time to a relationship, family duties, project, or other situation.

North

To dream of the direction north symbolizes reality. It also indicates that you are making progress and moving forward in life.

You’re here, there’s nothing I fear

• by She Says • In Dreams, Grammy Nominee, Pop •   Comments Off on You’re here, there’s nothing I fear

Spent 2.5 decades cringing when such songs played only to deeply listen and sing along as if the energy that is expelled will aid her on her tortuous journey.

I am quite convinced that my dream from last month is coming true and I don’t even care if that is slightly crazy one bit.

In other timely information, I started this site 9 years ago.

I left work crying that day.

She had told me that we couldn’t talk anymore for the first time. My world seemed to crumble. When I was at work, I got a call from a sweet older lady with the same name as her. I was in sales at the time and my boss must have been observing that call actively. The next call came in and my boss started trying to chastise me for not making a sales offer to the sweet old lady. It was hard enough to repeatedly say her name. I am quite sure that my next caller was able to hear me starting to softly cry as I was doing everything I could to make it through my day and then my boss was coming down hard on me for not making a sales offer to a sweet old woman that was probably telling me some heart breaking story in which I refused to accost her with an over priced service she doesn’t need – well – after that following call, I had made it to my lunch break, I walked straight up to my boss and told her that I wouldn’t be back after lunch, that I was sick and that I would get a doctor’s note. I am quite sure that my next move was to my primary doctor to get back on anxiety medication, which is usually my go to when I can’t handle life.

At the time, I would have never believed that I would be where I am 9 years later, in many ways, all of which I consider positive. (Somewhat – that is optimistically speaking). Either way, I would have been thrilled to know that she would even remember my name. As of 9 years ago, I was blindsided and expecting the worst and not seeing what was actually going on – that would take many more years or repeating this pattern before I would realize that it was not something I was imaging and my writing here helped that a lot.

The youtube playlist continued, so I will continue with the most nostalgic of music. This was one of the first 2 CDs I owned: