Folk music includes traditional folk music and the genre that evolved from it during the 20th-century folk revival. Some types of folk music may be called world music.
This song has been especially painful since it broadsides me at that one concert. I took my brother’s girlfriend at the time when I ended up with an extra ticket and met someone else there – I think my friend Jessica. I may have shed a few tears at that show.
As I take one day at a time, over and over again, I create mixed tapes in my head to her. I have been singing many of these songs to her long before I even knew who she was.
There was a point in time that I thought every song on this list was ridiculous, I couldn’t understand a few lines here or there. The lines that sound like exaggeration feel all too real now.
Here are the 90s pop songs playing on my radio. A few may drift from that decade and genre but they fit there to me.
This is just a darling way to bounce back from all of those emotions:
This might be the sound track to my life. I remember the moment and action that go with a few of these lines. When I just wanted her to know who I was – I started writing and never stopped.
Let me tell you about middle school dances… life was never pleasant for me but I don’t talk about that.
That’s god with a lowercase g, the concept.
We are going to continue down R&B lane for a moment so forgive me for that. I have been singing the next two songs a lot but I go got the John Michael Montgomery version as it is much easier for me to achieve. Well, I only sing it when I am alone, no one would want to hear all that.
All-4-One was one of my first CDs after Tragic Kingdom and Pieces of You, which I had received as Christmas gifts that year. My older cousin traded me a very scratched up All-4-One CD for who knows what, surely I got ripped off but that is where I first heard these two songs. That same year, a country artist covered them so I would hear the same songs in a country version on the radio with my grandparents – it was a confusing time and I didn’t understand why. (The reason was $$)
I realize that this 90s mix is quite cheesy but who could expect anything else. This is about the sentiment which is lightly scattered all over the place. Without further ado:
Oh how I loved this song as a teenager with no one to directed it to.
There are a few pop songs that I thought were so ridiculous that I couldn’t even listen to them. They fell into the Aqua – Barbie Girl category in my mind. When they grace my 90s station these days, I will admit, I listen to them and my thoughts drift – once again, the odd lyrics suddenly make a little sense. Brace yourself for bubblegum pop.
One more and I will climb out of this rabbit hole.
So I guess if I could say anything to her – it would be all of that. Another song that I have caught myself listening to when it comes on is one that I felt was the most over played song of my life:
I’ll wrap this up and get back to reality. For the next and final song in this series, it will be hard to believe that I had not heard it before a few years ago after she used ‘Round here’ in a very impactful text message. It seems as though it has been around for over 30 years so I may have just over looked it but when it comes on these days – I stop – I listen and I try my hardest to come up with a plan that will work.
Yesterday, I saw the eclipse with her and it was the most magical. Beyond what works could express. The clouds tried to get in the way but it quickly faded into a day that I could never forget.
Here’s some random songs that could be better:
Once I was driving and I saw the best shooting star just as the opening bars to this song played. I remember crying the softest tears to the piano.
I feel like this was a song that I originally learned at nap time from the country station:
It has been too difficult to even write about. So many things have happened and I am left crying my eyes out in a house all alone. My puppy doesn’t know what to do but she is trying her hardest to comfort me.
I will skip ahead past all of the agonizing things I have been avoiding writing about. A few days ago I posted some meme about listening to Ani DiFranco and a random guy in my town said that School Night was one of the best songs ever. After I said that I would check it out as I did not know it, he warned me not to if I was having a good day. Since I had nothing to lose, I went straight for it after work. It took a few replays and reading the lyrics before it completely wrecked my world. I knew this movie and I did not know there was a sound track. There is a roller coaster of emotions that goes with this song and I am sure its easy to see which line digs the deepest – its the one that reminds me that no matter how soft I get, I am still a jealous lesbian and I don’t know that I can ever escape that.
I haven’t been able to talk to her in so long and its really getting to me. I feel like I did some stupid shit back on July 20th. It was an important day to me and the day prior I was at work and realized that it was the middle day between when my friend Jenn was murdered (July 15th) and the day my brother died (July 25th) so as I will, I took it as a sign that I had to find a way to check on her because I would not loose her to domestic violence or anything else.
Well things didn’t go as planned and I pretty much embarrassed myself while trying to be some super hero.
Here is my tragic song, though I consider it to reside around the middle of August 2013 so this will be a reflection of my agonizing past, and well, I really have no idea what the current reality is – I am so long and afraid of what I don’t understand, I just panic myself constantly while making all of the wrong decisions.
At this point I am putting my trust in her and believing that she knows best. It terrifies me to no end, but I just wait to hear from her, so patiently and possibly stupidly.
I’m already the asshole. I realized it just a few years ago, that he would be furious.. I knew it would be worse when he realized it was me. When I was younger, I was dilutional, I thought – he won’t hate me.. but at some point, it occurred to me that one day.. he would fucking hate me. and I feel.. that day has come.
That’s based on the information I absorbed mid panic attack at the Walgreen’s parking lot. I believe I referred to this Sunday adventure as in the CVS parking lot for the first month or so but once I calmed down I realized that.. that was clearly.. always a Walgreens but sure CVS when you can’t think straight.
It’s really hard that I only want to be part of one person’s life and somehow – I am not capable.
This has always been a favorite to me – when my dad was struggling to raise us, we listened to Jimmy Buffett exclusively, I thought it was just what music was.
When I turn 40, I hope that we are close enough that it is not odd that I hope to spend it with her and her sisters – I just want to know them. Her oldest sister will be 44 by then.
I feel like I am running out of time – I need to get through to her but I am panicking and it makes it really hard for me to speak clearly.
I met her 9 years ago today – I think I have been holding my breath ever since.
Today has been really difficult for me. Its been a month since we were supposed to meet at the glass blowing shop and the following night, she messaged me at 5 am stating that she broke up with C and the rest of her message frightened me to the core.
I have been searching for a way to talk to her without censorship and I have been failing greatly.