Country

Country music, also known as country and western (or simply country), and hillbilly music, is a genre of popular music that originated in the southern United States in the early 1920s. It takes its roots from genres such as American folk music (especially Appalachian folk and Western music) and blues.

You’re the cutest thing that I ever did see

• by She Says • In Country Rock •   Comments Off on You’re the cutest thing that I ever did see

This blank white page leaves me wondering where to even start with this writing. Chronological usually works wall for me so I guess I will start back at Friday morning. Thursday night is a better place. My brother and I rode with my dad on a bus in a parade, he had a bad tooth ache and said he was exhausted but pushed through. Friday morning, he sends me a text while I am at work telling me that he has fainted three times and had a terrible tooth infection. My brother was off work, so I called him and asked him to go out to dad’s and see what was going on. He did and I checked on them once but didn’t hear much from them other than my dad’s occasional updates on what they were doing.

After work I found out that dad almost passed out in the dentist chair and they were able to keep him awake with oxygen and glucose packets. The dentist told him that he needed to eat and get some sleep. The tooth infection had kept him from doing both for a few days. Next they went to the grocery store to fill the prescription, my brother went inside to fill it and dad stayed in the car. When he got back to the car, dad was slumped over with his eyes rolled back. He wouldn’t wake up no matter how hard my brother tried. There was a moment when he thought he had died. Before my brother could call 911 or decide if he needed to start CPR, my dad came to. He fainted one more time when they got back to his house before he could start trying to eat something. He had 4 teeth pulled so eating wasn’t that simple.

By the time I got home to check in and see what was going on, my brother didn’t think he should be alone. We brought him back to the house once he could walk again and had him stay here to make sure he wouldn’t keep passing out. We didn’t really know what was wrong but he was out cold, now 5 times and we didn’t really know for how long. We made sure he ate as much as he could and slept as long as possible. So far he has been much better but it was quite the scare, we spent most of the weekend making sure that he was okay.

Somewhere just before that, my fear started creeping in and I was back to that spot in the cycle where I was terrified to be anywhere near her, afraid for both of us.

I’ve cried so much, nearly constantly, and it has never been about anything that I would expect. Fleeting time is on that list but grey hair isn’t. Grandma can barely talk anymore and that has been one of the hardest things to face alone. I am not really alone, my family has been putting forth maximum effort in every direction but that only leaves us worrying about each other as well.

The pain becomes so heavy and all I can do is reach for the greatest comfort in my life. I am so very lucky that it is always so well received. She probably wasn’t even that surprised when I used my classic line that left her asking. “Did you just say..” last time. Oh how parting is the most challenging The only way that I can get through it every time is by putting my complete trust and faith in that direction and believe the last few words with all of my heart.

but there’s a rainbow above you

• by She Says • In Astrology, Country, Folk Rock, Soft Rock •   Comments Off on but there’s a rainbow above you

Yesterday, I saw the eclipse with her and it was the most magical. Beyond what works could express. The clouds tried to get in the way but it quickly faded into a day that I could never forget.

Here’s some random songs that could be better:

Once I was driving and I saw the best shooting star just as the opening bars to this song played. I remember crying the softest tears to the piano.

I feel like this was a song that I originally learned at nap time from the country station:

What she said meant even more

• by She Says • In Country •   Comments Off on What she said meant even more

Once in a while, the first cassette tape I owned comes up. These songs were on mine.. Very impressively, my brother then walks into the other room and oddly found his first tape. I still think mine was better. Its hilarious to know which song I chose it because of.

I laugh, I love, I hope, I try

I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry

And I know you do the same things, too

So we’re really not that different, me and you

If I didn’t love you I’d be good by now

• by She Says • In Country, Music •   Comments Off on If I didn’t love you I’d be good by now

This morning on the way to work, as I was reliving a moment in my my past over and over again, this song came on. Its the second time that I have heard it on the radio recently.

Today in my thought drifting – I ended up at a day that we spent at my house. One of the most passionate days in my life. As she melted into me, I tried my best to control myself and knew that she was already struggling with the intensity that we had found – so though that day, I wanted to tell her how much I loved her, it trickled out with a, “I care about your deeply” and I sure as hell still do.

Well – actually, the other song I heard may have been:

and then on the way back home on my lunch break – I heard one of those new country songs that kept me listening though I typically can’t stand these songs that all sound the same to me.

Now I get to use her famous line – I usually listen to harder music than this..

However – here I am.

Before I even realize the ride I’m on, baby, I’m long gone

• by She Says • In Country, Music •   0

I want to learn to play the guitar so that I can sing her 90s country songs – how hard can that be?

One day she will ask me if I learned to play guitar just so I can sing her the next song. I was driving to Shreveport on my 7 hour drive somewhere in East Texas when I heard the line in this song that made me grin to myself – even though I was stuck listening to country music in the middle of no where. I love this song now.

I’m not really sure when it was but the last time time that this next song crossed my radio, I started to cry slightly and then I messed her about it.

I don’t wanna look back in thirty years

• by admin • In Country, Grammy Nominee, Music •   0

And wonder who you’re married to

Wanna say it now, wanna make it clear
For only you and God to hear
When you love someone
They say you set ’em free
But that ain’t gonna work for me

I don’t wanna live without you
I don’t wanna even breathe
I don’t wanna dream about you
Wanna wake up with you next to meI don’t wanna go down any other road now
I don’t wanna love nobody but you
Lookin’ in your eyes now, if I had to die now
I don’t wanna love nobody but you

I was just clicking through some new site and saw that there was some controversy between Adam Levine and Blake Shelton and when I took a second to read, the real news was that Blake Shelton was marrying Gwen Stefani. There was a slight moment on awkwardness when I thought back to 1996 but here are a few songs that I love and shaped my adolescence. When I listen to them, the emptions they bring really go back to a few core aspects of my life.

When I hear the song Austin, I nearly cry every time. This song came out in 2001 but I group it with all the other late 90s country music. Time blended together back then. I didn’t know true dedication and patience at the time but I have been spending nearly the last decade learning it and when I hear thing song, I just relate to my own life and situation. I can start about anywhere in this song and sing it – its always during the last message that my voice cracks.

I am so detached from the media these days that I had no idea that they were even dating – but Gwen.. she taught me a lot. Taught me to rebel against the conservative family and area that I was growing up in. No Doubt’s Tragic Kingdom and Jewel’s Pieces of You were the first CDs I owned and I feel like that shaped me a lot. Before that I had Collin Raye’s Extremes on tape and any Jimmy Buffet cassette that my dad owned.

When I entered lesbian (secret) lesbian relationships when I was about 15 years old – this would have been my theme song playing in my head as a specific mother wouldn’t let me go for a walk with her daughter because there was no boy present to protect us. It cut me pretty deeply. My dad didn’t do that crap to me thankfully.

How do I know all the words?

• by admin • In Alternative, Country, Folk, Folk Rock, Grammy Nominee, Music •   0

Someday, YouTube will tell me how many times I have listened to these song – it if was a tape, I would have worn it out by now. At this point I am just clicking on my favorite suggestion to the rights for the next song. It is possible to sit here and do nothing else but listen to the toughest music that I could think to listen to. I check my phone more often than I should and tell myself that she is probably a sleep.

Well, you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
‘Cause you loved her too much, and you dived too deep

Passenger

I feel like I am only about two steps from Tailor Swift and I have already seen Sarah McLachlan grace the suggested list as if someone is picking the songs for me. It would be nice if these algorithms would just stop – I have seen The Social Network and its working.

Tonight is the first time I have heard this song in a different light.

I am supposed to work about 12 hours straight tomorrow but I can’t seem to force myself to go to bed.

And suddenly.. after the next song, I want to go to bed, I just hope she visits me in my dreams. I try not to ask much.

I wonder if she knows how much I fear July 27th after I spent to many hears missing her. I was walking on the inside of the square nearing her bakery at the time. I paused in my tracks – suddenly wondered if anyone could see me – felt like I was in a horrible movie and was in disbelief a that. She used words that scared me for her so I just backed of quickly but I just don’t think that I should do that anymore – but what can I even do?