Blues

Blues is a music genre and musical form which was originated in the Deep South of the United States around the 1870s by African Americans from roots in African musical traditions, African-American work songs, and spirituals.

That I never wanna get myself free

• by admin • In Blue Rock, Country Rock, Music, Rock, Southern Rock •   0
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These are not songs that I willingly listened to, but sometimes my rock star brother sets my play list for the day without any input from myself.  I thought that we were going to play some Jimmy Buffett but now I am listening to 38 Special coming from the living room in the tune of my brother.  He sounds better than the originals, don’t get me wrong, but I would choose something else – and then it made me thing.

For the first time, I heard every word.  These are songs that he sings daily.   Now I just wanted to be in her arms and know that – know that something.  I’m pretty sure that my heart beats a little differently when I think about it too much.

I’m Not The Kind Of Girl You’d Bring Home

• by admin • In Alternative rock, Blue-Eyed Soul, Country, Folk, Folk Rock, Grammy Nominee, Pop •   0

Today, as I drove home from work on my lunch break, the radio took me back… the first song is one that I have always loved… Here’s a little Sheryl Crow.

If I thought that I was going to escape that thought process quickly.. I was wrong. I may have woken up thinking about her… but it wasn’t going to end there. The next song that came on was a song that I started dreading about a year ago, when I actually had heard the words. I feel like it was about this time last year. I know that I was headed to get my hair cut and I even remember where I parked on the square to allow the song to finish before I turned off my car to get out… now I hear the words intensely, as if someone was speaking to me.. or more like.. her. It’s a good way to make me feel inadequate quickly. I am sure that it has nothing to do with what she meant the song to be about.. but it sounds quite clear to me.

Honestly, it hurts a little, every time that I hear the song..

You would think that I would stop listening to it. As I listen to it too many times and watch the words play above.. makes me realize – that we are all 3 so similar in personality, that it seems caddy but its really just this whole ball of tension that I will never be able to understand or explain. This song gets to me about as much as the Gotye song. and the last line. the last line always makes my stomach sink and picture what my own custom video would like look in that song. he would be singing the entire song. im not even phased that its a female singer – someone. i always see her face at the end, saying that all miley cirus wrecking ball style.. i should go watch that and cry.. i am so much more emotional that most people know. i feel like we all struggle with sexuality and gender in some way. i never really thought that about him but i know that growing up he was smaller than most of the guys and he’s not that tall now.. i dont know how being a guy works.. i avoid them most of the time. life has beome so complicated that i dont even know anymore. i just see patterns and try to come up with a reason. there is no reason or solution, just continue to do what youre supposed to be doing and everything will work out. it may be the biggest lie that i have ever told myself, but only time can tell.

I could see, you home with me

• by admin • In Alternative rock, Blue-Eyed Soul, Indie Rock, Rock •   0

There are a few songs that come on the radio that I just can not help but sing at full volume… usually with the windows down and somehow I feel like I always notice that I am driving past her street as I start to get into it… if she ever seems me.. it will be so embarrassing.. It’s not my fault that one of my best friends lives right down the road. She would probably just smile.

I’ve been called a hopeless romantic a lot in my life.. but I don’t think that it has ever felt this hopeless before.

While spending too much time looking at this computer today and listening to these songs.. I realized that this is my 105th post since I started writing on this site. It came after a day that she told me that we couldn’t talk anymore.. at all.. I’m just glad that that didn’t last forever. I would be her best friend over not knowing her any day..

As I read 9/11 stuff and was reminded of how important it is to tell people how you feel everyday – I have had a hard time not telling her that I love her. The closest that I have ever gotten was telling her that I deeply care about her. Besides this one email years ago when I told her that I knew that we were falling in love.. I say the dumbest shit sometimes, but I truly believe that she understands me and how I feel.

Let me be your one and only

• by admin • In Blue-Eyed Soul •   0

This morning, I almost told her that “Rumor Has It” by Adele makes me feel weird when I listen to it. I could have added that I still remember where I was and what I was doing when I noticed the lyrics… I decided not to. Instead I just told her about my dream that I had about her last night. We agreed to meet on Father’s day.. Sept 5th.. I’m an odd one.


I never meant to start a war

• by admin • In Blues, Music, Pop •   0

Skipping work to sleep all day sounds extremely expensive at this point in time. It’s complicated corporate bullshit since tomorrow is.. was a paid holiday. Whatever, health is important and I never miss work. The playlist that has worked itself into my day is quite repetitive.

The first time that I heard this song, I thought about her and it hit pretty hard. Back then – things were much different. I understood a lot less but still felt.. something was happening.

I had searched my last name and Slovania trying to get that former president’s name. It was when I was adding my dad and little brother on skype. Then I was curious enough to search my last name to see what other family members had skype accounts. I was suddenly reminded that the internet is not only nation wide and suddenly my name looked pretty normal next to theirs. I forgot what that lady’s name was so I searched that and found a hilarious parody of “Wrecking Ball.”

From there it was all down hill. My friend was here. She put up with me listening to this song next. We were discussing how we felt about these young ladies getting so naked so casually in music videos. Don’t get me wrong, I am as guilty as every other American enjoying these videos.. but I hate that I do. Out of curiosity, I had to research when that was and sources say August 2013, which was a confusing time for this lady. I’m adaptable. Now I expect it..

The youtube must have sensed my mood because after I listened to that song tonight, this popped up.

It was like it was reading my mind. Damn computer – quit reminding me how predictable I am. At least I have dealt with situations better this time. I don’t think that I have ever been able to consider anyone else’s feelings before. I am always reminded of simple text messages that put me back in my place. I never wanted to hurt her, at all.

In other news, I told my friend that I was over here about my brother’s snake bite situation 11 years ago. She teared up and felt it was Oprah worthy. I’d rather believe that anyone would help a family member the same. I wasn’t really the one helping but more of my grandmother. It was a bad day.. or while I guess you would say.

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only

• by admin • In Blue-Eyed Soul, Grammy Nominee, Music, Pop •   0

I painted a birthday card for her, or more like I painted on one.. it couldn’t be more perfect, if you ask me. Which leads to the next perfect thing:

and then my phone played this next:

On that note, I have never seen the notebook but I have heard that it is an incredibly romantic movie. Some people say I am a bit romantic.. though, I always wonder what she actually thinks about it all. It’s all – a little – irregular….