Blues is a music genre and musical form which was originated in the Deep South of the United States around the 1870s by African Americans from roots in African musical traditions, African-American work songs, and spirituals.
• byShe Says • InPop, R&B, Soul music • Comments Off on Have you ever tried to find the words but they don’t come out right?
Today has been really difficult to hold it together. Last Tuesday was an emotional roller coaster and I still don’t know what’s going on, but I have a good idea.
The flame extinguisher is at it again and its far more serious than I can express here.
Then this song came on the radio when I was coming home from Jeremy’s house. I enjoyed it too much and then laughed at the thought – in 1998, this is certainly what I was listening to and I have some very nice archived tapes to prove it.
Around 1998, I was in middle school – enjoying cable TV in my own bedroom. Within a few years, I would be tying up the home telephone line for hours downloading these songs on Napster. That may have come a few years later.
• byShe Says • InMusic, Soul music • Comments Off on It never really mattered too much to me that they were just too damned blind to see
She sent me a selfie the other day from when she had gone to a party. She wore a necklace that I had given her so many years ago and paired it with a statement that absolutely filled my heart. I have been wildly shy since. She is far too pretty to be talking to someone like me but I will pause my life just to open doors for her. I can only hope that she is into this trade off. Wait until she finds out that I can fix her internet too. That is a big joke, I doubt my customer service skills or troubleshooting guesses can get me very far here – except that paycheck I depend so heavily on.
Once, a few years ago, my brother stopped me in the hall and asked me how I was going to ask her to move in with me if I was too shy to even talk to her. I felt it was a keen observation on his behalf and answered that I had lived with plenty of people that I didn’t talk to but that was a complete joke. I know that I will be able to get through such a ‘rough’ situation. After a week or two, I am certain that I will be able to handle being around such a pretty lady – nerds have a hard time with that.
Today, I have been trying to find ways tell her that no matter what, she will always be safe with me but I don’t really know how to put that in words in a normal way. How does one say – I do not subscribe to the societal ideal that people can kick people out of where they live.. For any reason. I think I am still a bit sad with that turn in my graphic novel. Suddenly Blue didn’t feel like the Warmest Color after all. The book was great and tugged at my heart strings in every direction. Made my life feel so much more normal for a minute until the story took a 360 and the darkest dive possible. I want to tell her that she is safe with me and that I would never let anything get between us but that doesn’t even sound believable if you have to state it. I’d like to think she already knows this but if I were her, I can’t say that I would be so sure of anyone in this world. If I need to create an ethical soundness resume, at least I have plenty of experience and references.
Here is a random, unrelated, song that I hear on 90s on 9 today. It is a blast from the past that I enjoyed hearing.
Last month, I found myself helping a friend move – looking for a distraction, but somehow it brought me right back to the middle of it all. That may have been due to my series of choices, but I remember that night like it was yesterday. It was full of fear and pain that has since dissipated.
My friend had borrowed a truck for me to use so that I could continue helping her move after my car had broken down the night before. We had already had a plan that I was going to take a load of trash to my old house. When I made this plan, I didn’t have enough forward thinking to realize what I could have avoided.
Maybe my car broke down for a reason, so that I couldn’t find myself pacing my favorite street – by now with tears in my eyes and the songs growing more and more grey. I had been stopping there on my way home from work – I guess that was the last time I went to work too.
On my way to drop off the trash, I stopped at my initials – picked up the three rocks that I had left there and continued on my way. I actually do not know it I left any there that night because it was the last time I visited that spot. I went to my old house, turned my head lights out, climbed into the truck like it was 2005 again (I have done plenty of slightly terrible shit) and just started filling up the dumpster with trash that wasn’t there’s. My friend showed up and emptied her car too and we planned to meet back at my house. I must have glanced up the street when I had turned left at the end of my favorite street because I knew that there was a Uhaul in her driveway and I was trying to hold it all together. I knew it was coming but it put me in a panic just to see it. By this time of night, it was late. When I left the trash dumpster, I knew the path I was going to take and decided that I needed to find 2 snowflake obsidian crystals in my pocket and gently throw them at the uhaul in hopes that she would find them the next day. I may never know if she did – she may tell me about it someday. BUT I didn’t stop there – I knew that I had to stop one more place. It must have been around 2 AM because the college kids were getting rides back to their cars. I shamelessly parked in front of her work and walked over to where I expected her to park- all of this could make me creepy as hell but as I continued to check, I was told that it’s romantic if they like it – I am still not sure I can tell the difference but I was attempting to show my ut most dedication in the most delicate ways and though visiting people’s work is usually not sanctioned, I think that we have a unique relationship and I believe it to me okay. After I placed the rocks on the curb thing, I still could not relax so I walked over to the back door just to look at it.
As I stood there, I put my hand in my pocket to see what other rocks I could hid and to my surprise, I found a necklace that I had picked up off the ground earlier that day. It was a rock necklace that I had originally obtained on ebay but felt that it was nearly perfect – it was most likely purchased for her to began with but I don’t have a lot of confidence in myself so I keep most of what I want to get her. Especially since I rarely get to see her – but I tucked the necklace back behind some conduit and then set a purple rock in front of it and the scurried off – hoping to bring a smile to her life when she discovered it.
The next day was historically a day that I struggle with due to a vivid imagination that works for and against me. I felt a bit better after I had performed my solo performance art act. She may be my only audience member but I would be awfully shy if anyone else knew what I would do to show my devotion. It may not be traditional but I think that it works well for us.
My mother, on the other hand, isn’t talking to me but I am not even sure why. My dad has suggested that she may have some sort of Alzheimer’s just based on the messages he has been getting from her. He hasn’t actually spoken to her since she went to jail back in June of 2016 and I sent her to GA on a plane. I still feel guilty at times but know that it is the only chance that we have to live a stable life.
When I was younger, I had no idea that Tracy Chapman was female. I didn’t even question it.
Maybe if I told you the right words Ooh, at the right time you’d be mine
Sometimes a song plays on accident and then I can’t stop listening to it. I would never actually call anyone ‘Crazy’ as I think that is insanely damaging and is a pretty damn offensive word. Let’s just say that I have been called crazy plenty and it was never okay.
However, almost every other word speaks to me.
In unrelated magic – this song comes from up to time
