Last night, I had a dream that I decided to keep to myself. I can’t imagine that it symbolizes anything more than my immaturity.
I was sitting in homeroom in high school. The classroom was so detailed that I could see the teacher’s (Mr. Algebra II / fencer / computer nerd) Pascal Programming books on the shelf. He was demanding our attention in a way that it was clearly homeroom and not Algebra II, which I often slept through, but he handled it pretty well. He would scare me with grades like 67 but never actually failed me to the point of where it would affect me.
In this dream, I was sitting about 3 rows from the teacher’s desk, which was on the far end of the room. Mr. M had just walked back to his desk and started to sit down when he started to try to tell me something.
There was a rowdy group of boys playing paper football or something, causing a ruckus to the point where I couldn’t hear him. Being the passive man that he was, he just calmly closed his eyes and seemed to hold his breathe until they realize they were being disruptive. As Mr. M did this, my eyes shifted from the teacher down to the left to be met with someone looking at me like that had something to say but we just stared at each other for a second or two until Mr. M asked me the question about something I had no interest in – but I took the book that he was suggesting, politely and started to read. I feel like it was long after the dream was over and I had already woken up that I realized who the disruptive boy was.
I wasn’t particularly phased by the boys playing paper football loudly in between us. I probably envied them and wished that I was playing paper football loudly, instead of my Algebra II teacher attempting to get me into computer coding that has since been rendered obsolete. I am pretty sure he was Budist, but I didn’t know more than I had learned in po-dunk geography class.
That teacher later got fired for jokingly pulling a pocket knife on a student. My brother was actually present for that situation – I don’t think I could make this redneck stuff up – but anyway, as I was driving to work, I suppose my mind was aimlessly wandering, because I think that’s when I realized – it was C. He was in my homeroom class too.
Why?
This is all I could pull out of it and I wasn’t thrilled with the results – maybe I should just not.
School
To dream that you are in school signifies feelings of inadequacy and childhood insecurities that have never been resolved. It may relate to anxieties about your performance and abilities.
Alternatively, a dream that takes place in school may be a metaphor for the lessons that you are learning from your waking life. You may be going through a “spiritual learning” experience.
This morning something quite unexpected happened. I doubt that I will forget it so for now the details won’t be anywhere but in my heart but I will leave a few notes for myself for when I decided I need to know, years down the line.
To see a train in your dream represents conformity. You are just going along with what everyone else is doing. Alternatively, a train means that you are very methodical. You need to lay things out specifically and do things in an orderly and sequential manner. In particular, if you see a freight train, then it refers to the burdens and problems that you are hauling around. It is also symbolic of manual labor. If you see a passenger train, then it relates to mental work.
To dream that you are on a train symbolizes your life’s journey. It suggests that you are on the right track in life and headed in the right direction. Alternatively, the dream means that you have a tendency to worry needlessly over a situation that will work out in the end.
To see hair in your dream signifies sexual virility, seduction, sensuality, vanity, and health. It is indicative of your attitudes. If your hair is knotted or tangled, then it is symbolic of uncertainty and confusion in your life. You may be unable to think straight. If you dream that you make a drastic change to your hairstyle, then it means that you are taking a drastic, new approach to some issue in your waking life.
To dream that you are combing, stroking or styling your hair suggests that you are taking on and evaluating a new idea, concept, outlook, or way of thinking. You may be putting your thoughts in order and getting your facts straight. A more literal interpretation suggests your concerns about your self-image and appearance.
To dream that you have long hair indicates that you are thinking long and carefully before making some decision. You are concentrating on some plan or situation. Dreaming that you have hair so long that it gets in your way suggests that your thoughts and/or ideas are preventing you from moving forward. Perhaps you are doing too much thinking and not taking any action.
To dream that you are reaching for or running your fingers through someone’s hair suggests that you are trying to connect with that person on a spiritual or intellectual level. It also refers to sympathy, protectiveness, and fraternal love.
Today, I did and said things that I thought twice about, thought I should keep to myself but shared with her anyway. There was something in the back of my mind in my brother, Stephen’s voice, saying that I may never get the chance that I wait for. He would have told me to live in the moment if he was here and I saw him days before he died – so that changes ones perspective.
I told her about my dream and we were both a bit surprised when our dreams over lapped. That’s the only words that I have for it right now. My dream was quite life-like, the type that get my attention and are stuck echoing for days leaving me questioning if it actually happened or not. I couldn’t tell you where I was or what I was doing specifically. I can say that I know how I was laying in the dream, how I felt, who I was with and that I had started to fall asleep in the dream and it seemed as if I woke up for work as I fell asleep in my dream. It’s moments like this that remind me that there so so much more to life that I am giving it.
I started talking to Couch Boy about BladeRunner today and he said a few things about the premise and it made me want to see it even more and left me questioning how she would feel about BladeRunner 2049 or whatever year that new one is. I will find a moment to ask.
I’ve got better things to do than survive I’ve got the memory of your warm skin in my hands And I’ve got a vision of blue sky and warm land I’m cradling the hardest, heaviest part of me in my hands
I appreciate that I have always been perceived as quite innocent and caring. It’s not common anymore and as risque as I like to think that I can be, there is always someone that will eventually hear about it and the giggle and say something like, “Oh hunny…” and well, that puts me in a strange place, because I am intelligent to know what they are implying with their tone, but I can’t even imagine what they could be thinking about at that very moment. Things I have only seen, and tried to ignore, in movies.
It is so rare that I even want to watch a movie or TV anymore. I don’t like the way that it can make me feel. So much so, that I still remember exactly how she calmed me down when we saw that movie in the theater. If you know me, you know that I said that word with an accent and I have grown to expect people to laugh and say, “What?” but that just shows me how many people have moved to this area. Locals rarely notice my accent.. so I guess I have one. Anyway – I am nervously rambling. We saw Dallas Buyers Club and another similar movie. I can’t tell you which one we saw in the theater or which one we saw at my house, but I can tell you what room we were in, how my bed was and where my computer was. For all of the time that I lived in that house, it was the smallest period that I stayed in my brothers room, but at that time, I was. My bed was in the same position when I woke up with those images in my head that lead me to get online and find his YouTube channel within a few clicks.
That always freaked me out. It was very “Slumdog Millionaire.” I ended up searching something that had to do with the, “he was a really good boy” song – which I only know from the mowing the yard video. I was somewhat surprised when it came right up, but I had seen that video before. I will divulge the rest of these details in some future moment that is more romantic than this, but back to my story that I have completely lost sight of: The movie we were watching, at the theater, when the sex scene came on, she could tell I was uncomfortable, I didn’t want her to know how weird I was, but it was milliseconds in when she reached over and held my hand or my leg and I was so distracted that I could focus on that instead of whatever else I had been struggling with. I never forgot that moment, though it kind of embarrasses me to be an adult that still struggles with PDA. I am not wildly religious but I can see where my grandparents raising me for a good portion of my life has reflected in my adult life.
I really have no idea how I ended up here but through that typing and having this song stuck in my head all day, I questioned if maybe she has an autistic sister. There was this time I was having a melt down I suppose, I feel like it was pretty to myself but I must have said something – I know I told her I thought I was autistic because I was just so embarrassed with my life and was trying to figure out why I lacked such basic skills. I don’t know what she said, but whatever was wrong was instantly better. I try not to look back, but I have all the emails if I wanted to see what the hell I’m talking about – but I don’t but I love that I love someone that I feel like understands me. It doesn’t happen often.
maybe i’m supposed to make one of my famous jokes that makes everything okay or maybe i’m supposed to be the handsome prince who rides up and unties your hands or maybe i’m the furrow-browed friend who thinks she understands
Last night, I fell asleep after listening to Elton John’s “Your Song” and then had my second vivid dream in a row. I’m going to start keeping a record of my dreams in case I ever want to go back and reference them in the future. In the past, when I have had dreams like this, I have always felt that turned out to be quite significant. There is a difference between a normal dream that can be about anything and then the dreams that I have that I often confuse with reality for a moment or two, this was one of those dreams.
The dream started in my bedroom with a close friend of mine, and suddenly changed tones with a guy that I knew as Skyler came in to interrupt and scold my friend for being there claiming that her partner would not appreciate it. She was quite defensive and he was obnoxious, she ended up leaving to go talk to said partner but returned shortly there after.
We spend most of the dream walking around and talking.
At some point, when I was alone, I was at walmart and I saw a large smartphone just sitting there on a shelf, so I picked it up and went to go turn it in to an employee. The employee pretty much implied that I might as well take it because if I turned it in, an employee would just take it home and assured me that it would never make it back to its original owner. I can’t say that I would do this in real life, but I put it in my bag and continued on.
Later in my dream, I attempted to give it to my friend, because I knew that she was unsatisfied with her current phone. There was a crack in the screen across the top by this point, which hadn’t been there originally. Somehow we never made it to her using the phone because I had all intentions of wiping it clean for her but then I somehow lost the phone myself.
We walked through a town square of a town that I was not familiar with. There were people painting murals on the walls and we watched for a moment as we passed through.
At one point, we ended up at Walmart ourselves, together, but I couldn’t tell you why we were there or what we were doing. Every time we would get somewhere and it was time to split up and go our separate ways, she would always come with me and walk me home. We stayed together almost the entire dream.
The last part that I can remember, was us sitting on the top of a train car. It reminded me of a open car that we had in my grandparents Lionel train set.
It looked like this one but it was life sized, we sat in it like a canoe, maybe that wouldn’t make it really life sized but we fit in it, one behind the other.
When I looked up this photo to give an example, I found out it was called a Gondola, which is funny because I kept saying it was kind of like a canoe but a train car..
We were sitting on ropes that were wrapped up in a circle and one must have fallen off because it started to unroll. I warned her to be careful and that is the last that I remember of the dream.
She argued with this guy, Skyler, that seemed to know her partner, explaining that we were not hiding anything from anyone nor doing anything wrong. She was really upset during this conversation and that is why she left. The next time I saw her, it was not at the house, which seemed to be my brother’s house and Skyler was my brother’s roommate. As it all happened, I could remember the first time that I had met this fictional Skyler person. I told her that I had met him at this guy Mike V’s house back when I was in high school. His appearance, Skyler, seems to be one of the most vivid images from the dream, besides the train. He had dark hair that was cut in an emo type way. He was so worried about what everyone else was doing and wouldn’t drop it.
In my posts, while recording my dreams, I will add excerpts from information that I find. Over 10 years ago, maybe even 15 by now, I had a friend online that lived in Portugal. She was so intrigued by my dreams, she would always encourage me to tell her and she would then help me pick them apart and analyze them.
The meaning of the name Skyler: Dutch meaning: Guarded; scholar, learned one. American meaning: The Sky.
Gondola
To see or ride in a gondola in your dream refers to romance, fantasy, and idealistic love. Things are going well in your relationship or some aspect of your waking life. Alternatively, a gondola indicates your need to take time off and go off on an adventure.
Touchscreen
To see or use a touchscreen in your dream implies that you need to take a more active or more hands-on approach in order to move forward in some endeavor.
Shopping
To dream that you are shopping symbolizes your needs and desires. It also represents opportunities and options that you come across in life. Consider what you are shopping for and what needs you are try to fulfill. In particular, to dream that you are shopping for food and groceries signifies your hidden attempt to buy the attention of others. If you are shopping for clothes, then it suggests that you are trying to put forth a new image.
Edit: 7/25/2019
I reread this dream after remembering it during my lunch break today due to another dream that could not be ignored. I realized that I totally missed the rope – that has got to be significant.
To see a rope in your dream represents your connection and attachment to others. It is symbolic of what is holding your relationship together. Alternatively, a rope signifies bondage, restriction and captivity.
To dream that you are walking on a rope indicates that you are in a very precarious situation. You need to proceed carefully and weigh all the pros and cons of your decisions.
To dream that you are tied up in ropes suggests that you are letting your heart guide you, despite your better judgment.
I collected a few articles this morning. My dreams really get to me. I have extremely detailed dreams that always revolve around something troubling me in my waking life. Here are some links that I have collected to help me sort it all out.
Sometimes I find myself in situations where I don’t want to do a thing. I seem to make it to work and back without issue because I know that I have to. As for cooking, cleaning and other things that you would think that I have to do; not so much. I think I was like this right before I met her. When we started dating, I wanted to eat every meal with her, mainly because, I finally wanted to eat. Aside from eating out at places, I can not even tell you the last thing that I cooked. Luckily for me, I can survive on very little. Honey Nut Cheerios, yep, dinner one night. I even know that it is ridiculous but I can’t stop putting my life on pause for her.
And here’s a blast from the past for anyone old enough to have seen a music video on MTV..
Today’s awesome discovery about life is Astral Projection, which could be the reason for my insanely real feeling dreams.
Since we are visiting last decade.. or more really; I will go ahead and play a song from another artist that I have seen live. I’m secure in my masculinity..
The only line that bothers me in this song right now is the “Ugly like me,” because I think that we both have quite beautiful souls.
I rearranged my house so much today. I couldn’t help but think about how she said from one hoarder to another.. I hope that she isn’t really bothered by my stuff.. if she only knew how much I would do for her…
Currently, I am trying my damnedest to leave her alone. I miss her so much.. but I keep reminding myself of my dream, and hoping that some how all of that is true.
Tonight, I wanted, more than anything – to just tell her how much I wanted her to hold me.
When I thought about the dream more, I remember that she also said something like she would take perfect care of me one day.. which is weird, I don’t expect anyone to tell me that they will take care of me.
I started to have a sad look on my face when she told me that now was not the time. As I felt my face drop, she gave me this look.. a playful but serious look. It’s as if I completely understand her without words. She seemed to say, “This is not the time for that either..” I tried to act composed. She saw right through me but appreciated the efforts..
Like that – she was gone. I should be used to that by now. Would you believe that I actually thought that I was over being consumed with emotions?
Last night, before I went to bed, I sent her a quick email telling her about my Halloween and wished her sweet dreams. I usually send her a text or an email each morning and night, since she is the first and last thing on mind. Maybe its super annoying, but until she tells me so, I am convinced that it is romantic.
At some point after that, I had the sweetest dream about her:
She grabbed my face softly and said, “J—, I love you, I truly do…” that’s generally when I stop listening. Even in my dreams, she says things like, “But now is not the time, please don’t doubt my feelings for you.”
Maybe that’s what I needed to hear, so my dreams manifested it.
