So you wanna play with magic

Somehow I thought this was a newer song when I hear it recently. Maybe it’s because I don’t listen to music like this, but this is an interesting video. I sent her an email last night after I talked to my grandma on the phone and she told me that she thought she was dying. She wasn’t exaggerating and it scared me more than I could imagine. That perspective was reopened and I forgot about my romantic… (non) interest and remembered about true love. Suddenly, I am just concerned about my grandma. My New Years resolution if not to email her in 2015.. until she contacts me. It will be hard and I will miss her, but what’s really important here?

a great friend showed me this. it almost made my day.

And who am I that I should be vying for your touch

Today, I took it pretty personally when she walked to the back as I came in to get my pizza. Maybe that’s what happens when I look forward to something too much. My friend that was with me stands with the idea that she never even saw us and I can only hope that was true.

When my friends and I saw this online while looking at tattoos yesterday, they said that I need to get a chicken, bacon, mushroom one. What she doesn’t know is that I have never had that pizza from anywhere but there. I just made it up to be different and awesome and well, it got me noticed, or something, not like she didn’t already know me, but she knows my pizza. I have never been like this over a person. It could be fun if anything were different but this is just extremely depressing.

99-Awesome-Tattoos-for-Women-3

It’s not hard to see that I’m in so over my head but I don’t walk away easily.

At this moment in time, I am so disappointed in myself for not being able to stop these feelings.

What is in a dream

I collected a few articles this morning. My dreams really get to me. I have extremely detailed dreams that always revolve around something troubling me in my waking life. Here are some links that I have collected to help me sort it all out.

What Dreams Say About Your Sleep

Creative People Remember More Dreams

Why Some Remember Dreams, Others Don’t

Sometimes I find myself in situations where I don’t want to do a thing. I seem to make it to work and back without issue because I know that I have to. As for cooking, cleaning and other things that you would think that I have to do; not so much. I think I was like this right before I met her. When we started dating, I wanted to eat every meal with her, mainly because, I finally wanted to eat. Aside from eating out at places, I can not even tell you the last thing that I cooked. Luckily for me, I can survive on very little. Honey Nut Cheerios, yep, dinner one night. I even know that it is ridiculous but I can’t stop putting my life on pause for her.

we just don’t run this place

When I took a shower, I heard two lines in two different songs that I had never heard before. That will be the last line in each of the Ani songs that I post. The Adele song separated them. All just as insightful.

The last lines seemed to hit so hard tonight.

This song has some of my favorite lines in it, one being at the 2 minute mark. Music gets me though me day.