Today, I woke up in quite an emotionally ornery mood. It’s so difficult to miss M so much and continue to give her the space and time that she needs. How do people do this? Why does she do this?
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Send a smile and show you care
Today, I drifted to reading a horoscope and I appreciate that it was more kind than the last that I had read.
Here is some soft music that the radio has subjected me to recently;
So you wanna play with magic
Somehow I thought this was a newer song when I hear it recently. Maybe it’s because I don’t listen to music like this, but this is an interesting video. I sent her an email last night after I talked to my grandma on the phone and she told me that she thought she was dying. She wasn’t exaggerating and it scared me more than I could imagine. That perspective was reopened and I forgot about my romantic… (non) interest and remembered about true love. Suddenly, I am just concerned about my grandma. My New Years resolution if not to email her in 2015.. until she contacts me. It will be hard and I will miss her, but what’s really important here?
a great friend showed me this. it almost made my day.
And who am I that I should be vying for your touch
Today, I took it pretty personally when she walked to the back as I came in to get my pizza. Maybe that’s what happens when I look forward to something too much. My friend that was with me stands with the idea that she never even saw us and I can only hope that was true.
When my friends and I saw this online while looking at tattoos yesterday, they said that I need to get a chicken, bacon, mushroom one. What she doesn’t know is that I have never had that pizza from anywhere but there. I just made it up to be different and awesome and well, it got me noticed, or something, not like she didn’t already know me, but she knows my pizza. I have never been like this over a person. It could be fun if anything were different but this is just extremely depressing.
It’s not hard to see that I’m in so over my head but I don’t walk away easily.
At this moment in time, I am so disappointed in myself for not being able to stop these feelings.
We could be stuck in traffic for over a week
What if I say that I’ll never surrender?
Today has been incredibly difficult for me.
I’m the voice inside your head
You refuse to hear
I’m the face that you have to face
Mirrored in your stare
I’m what’s left, I’m what’s right
I’m the enemy
I’m the hand that will take you down
Bring you to your kneesSo who are you?
Yeah, who are you?
What is in a dream
I collected a few articles this morning. My dreams really get to me. I have extremely detailed dreams that always revolve around something troubling me in my waking life. Here are some links that I have collected to help me sort it all out.
What Dreams Say About Your Sleep
Creative People Remember More Dreams
Why Some Remember Dreams, Others Don’t
Sometimes I find myself in situations where I don’t want to do a thing. I seem to make it to work and back without issue because I know that I have to. As for cooking, cleaning and other things that you would think that I have to do; not so much. I think I was like this right before I met her. When we started dating, I wanted to eat every meal with her, mainly because, I finally wanted to eat. Aside from eating out at places, I can not even tell you the last thing that I cooked. Luckily for me, I can survive on very little. Honey Nut Cheerios, yep, dinner one night. I even know that it is ridiculous but I can’t stop putting my life on pause for her.
we just don’t run this place
When I took a shower, I heard two lines in two different songs that I had never heard before. That will be the last line in each of the Ani songs that I post. The Adele song separated them. All just as insightful.
The last lines seemed to hit so hard tonight.
This song has some of my favorite lines in it, one being at the 2 minute mark. Music gets me though me day.