Last night, as I was driving home on a old dark road, I approached a stop sign and as I did – the brightest star seemed to fall right in front of me. My brother commented about it and I turned down the radio to make a wish. I know that he was questioning what I was doing at first but I think he realized it quickly.
I have been making the exact same wish since I saw a star fall down over her house as I walked to Torie’s Halloween party that first year. I am quite sure that she was in San Francisco at the time.
It started with me wishing for her true happiness and then ended with something like – even if it’s not with me – mainly because I wanted her to really love me, not just become a wish fulfilment – not that that is even real but I wasn’t about to take my chances.
Well last night, I was finally secure enough to say, ‘and if it’s with me, even better.’ I guess I felt comfortable enough knowing that if she does love me, its probably not because of all the star that I have wished upon for her to find what truly makes her happy… and well the next thing I did was rush to vaguely mention it to her.
More random information about how soft my life has become: As I drove to work today, I found my thoughts drifting to somewhere I didn’t even see coming, which lead to: “But I only want to be her emergency contact.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at myself and wonder what the hell goes on in my head.