It’s been a while since I have posted and there are many reasons for that. The most notable one is that I have a wonderful woman in my life that encourages me and supports me, so I no longer have to try to avoid talking to her by talking to myself on this site. Just 27th came and went and I didn’t even notice to get overwhelmed with emotions that no one else would even know about. It was July 29th before I even noticed and I was proud of how far we have both come.
It more tragic news, a friend of mine that I saw pretty regularly was brutally murdered by her husband that she was trying to leave. That alone has caused my worst fears to spike and then get buried due to trying my best to be a normal human. I have spent a lot of time trying to help her best friend, which is Maddie and assist the kids with what they need. She left behind 3 teenage kids and one of them lost his father in the ordeal. The youngest is a very sensitive guy that was already severely depressed for a 15 year old. Now his sister watched his father murder his mother and they are all fucked up to say the least. As far as I know, he is still in the Atascosa County Jail. No one I know has been in contact with him.
Soon, I will post something more light-hearted about my working from home adventures. Just a few days ago we soared past 5 months of working from home. The funny part about that is that my car broke down about 2 weeks before the Corona Virus hype. It was the last day in February and I was stuck getting rides to and from work. My friends and dad had been helping me but I had asked if I could work from home a day or 2 because there were somedays that no one was available to take me into work. I even took a day off due to this but they didn’t want me working from home because we were not trusted – yet, two weeks later plus those 5 months working from home and here we are. Let the record show that we were just as productive when working from home.
I am going to come back to talking about my friend, Jenn, soon but I just can’t even really handle thinking about it directly yet. He loured her to the house they used to share after she had been gone for about 2 months. He show her in the neck as she got out of her car. They all lived with me for a few months back in 2017. He was an asshole but I just took it as your average conservative man. Her and her kids were abused more than I realized – not that any amount is okay. I feel guilty as hell in multiple ways. I can’t believe I didn’t realize it and I can’t believe I didn’t do something. When I expect that someone is in an abusive relationship, I convince myself that I am crazy and it is all in my head because I grew up in such a situation – but the realization that I am probably not wrong a lot of the time – have a very real world situation in my life and it makes me sick that I don’t even know what to do.
I don’t really know what inspired this music collection, it’s about to get very country around here. Exit stage left if you are not into that, no one will judge you. I would like to think that Jenn loved these classics, chances are – she did. I had to avoid one Garth Brooks song as it was clearly in bad taste.
PS. That combination makes me cry – because I am tough.
It’s not the first time that I have had to be the support for someone that tragically lost someone abruptly. 15 years ago, this song would send Pam into a frenzy.