When I was driving home from work – to continue working from home, this song came on the radio and it reminded me about something.
There was about 5 years of my life that I did think I was just too cool for love.. feelings and just about everything. It was back when I was working diligently to built my army of platonic supports and enact every defense mechanism that I knew how to use.
Then I met her, my world instantly changed. I had shoes that I thought were stupid now. I don’t think that she ever even saw me wear them but I can’t say I wore them in a serious manner after that. I hit that brick wall and my armor must not have been glued well because it all just came crumbling off. I looked at her with a shy smile and it wasn’t long before – I thought – she knew that she was all that I could think about.
I’m not really sure when that change really happened for her – but somewhere in there, I no longer cared at all. If people wanted to laugh, they could. If people wanted to have opinions that differed from mine, that was fine, but I didn’t want to hear about it.
So I think that I used to be – a lot less secure with myself and much more guarded. Somewhere on my journey in making sure that she knew exactly how I felt, I completely lost track of any defenses. For several years my best defense has been, “I am in love with someone,” but once it failed – I had to come up with a better one. Actually, I didn’t – I just avoid people all together now. So basically – this song came on, it was the version without Justin Bieber but since he is my boy ‘twin’ I guess he can spice up the video with some cheese.