You know what they say about assuming.. I embarrass myself more than I would like to admit, but luckily for me, I really don’t open up to many people, so there isn’t a ton of opportunities. I feel like I need to put my friend on a payroll for all the shit she puts up with from me.
When I was younger, I would get confused. Confused between really caring about someone as a friend and being in love with them. Maybe I never for past it. How do I know if I am attracted to someone as a person or more? The good thing is, I would much rather a good friend than a girlfriend, because I just don’t trust relationships or love. I tried it once or twice and it didn’t work out that well for me.
Last night, I had a weird dream. I thought that it was real but never asked anyone – but I am sure it was not. In my dream, Maddison called me. She said, “You’re not going to like this, but my girlfriend has something to say.” and then handed the phone to someone. Then a more masculine chick got on the phone and said something like. “Yeah, girlfriend, did you hear that? Stay away from my…” and then I hung up. In my dream, I knew that it was Sarah. I did get pissed off because, what the fuck. I was really mad, but who knows why. I get really sad when people don’t trust me.. but then I guess I see why.
I went to some Kid Fish with my nieces and nephew today. It was on river road and there were a million people there. I had terrible reception but managed to exchange a few important messages. Tomorrow will mark a month since I left work. I don’t think that I could ever work from home. I need an escape and a distraction. My mind has really played some tricks on me and I just wish I knew how to apologize properly.
She wanted to help me and I am a complicated mess that needs to learn when to stop.
Yet another song that I did not know before playing it. These electronics…
